Davidji's Comeback Story Pt.2

00:00:09 Speaker 1: All right, welcome back everybody. We're here for another episode of Comeback Stories, and we are here for round two with our guy David g. Welcome back. Hey, great to be here. You know, I was just took a took a little break, chick off round one. We're back, We're back for more. I was flying in here and I was listening to one of your many amazing meditations and one of my favorite ones is one on one of those albums, and it's the Infinite Flexibility talking about change. And you have a line in there that I use all the time, and I try to credit it for you most times, and people are like, oh, that's a good one. But the line is, change is not part of the process. It is the process. And I know in that meditation you talk about the quote from the baba Ghita of we have total control over our out comes or our actions, but we don't have control over the fruit of them. Can you just talk a little bit about the power of that and just surrendering to change and how many people struggle when they resist that change. Yeah, that's actually chapter two, verse forty seven of the Bug of Augita, And in that you know this is essentially God speaking to the greatest warrior of all time? Are you know? And you know he's like, well, how am I supposed to walk through the world? God, how am I supposed to like live my life? You know, I'm at a crossroads or I'm leaning in you know, I want to do the best job possible? How do I do it? And He's instructed We've total control over our own actions, but no control of the fruit. So why would your attention be in the fruit? Why wouldn't you instead put all of your attention on the thing you're doing going right now and let go of the outcome. That doesn't mean be a slacker, that doesn't mean don't care about the outcome, But it means that for you to achieve your outcome, you got to put your attention on this moment, right now, on doing the thing you do as brilliantly as possible. And if you've prepared and if you've practiced, then if you're leaning, and if you're present, then whatever you do will ideally lead to your best outcome. And so, but if our attention is out there someplace, you know, we see it all the time. If you've running across the street, and if you're looking at the other curb. You know, that's when you trip. If you're looking you know, at the you know, at the traffic and your feet, then you're probably going to be able to scamper to the other side of the street. So it's you know, he follows it up with this line in Sanskrit Yoga stack who karmani God says to the greatest warrior of all time, essentially, establish yourself in the present moment and then perform action, get still, and then be brill And we know this when we're thinking about the thing that's down the road, you know, you know, Darren, you know, if you're thinking about like, well, when I get to the end zone and the ball comes to me like this, then I'll catch it. Who knows what that route looks like by the time you know, that whole thing happens. If you're present every single moment running the route, that that's when you do your thing brilliantly. And maybe that's when you get to adapt to the moment. Also, so we we're living in a moment of change. You know, here's this moment, it's gone. Here's the net it's gone. It's gone. So if we're really going to attach ourselves see like all the other changes happening externally, instead of getting centered really connecting to that balance, that thread of balance that's inside of us. Then we're probably gonna have the best conversations. Then we're probably going to show up most prepared, you know. Then we're going to you know, actually respond to the moment. And that's how we master the moment by being fully present and responding to everything around us. There's so much there. So the first thing that I heard in the beginning regarding the quote of we have total control of our actions but not the fruit of them, is the whole idea of expectations. So a lot of the times I think people, you know, they do certain things and then they expect something in return, which you know, we know in the program of recovery, what expectations do for us is they typically lead to resentments. But we're and trying to control something we can't control. So that was a big takeaway from the beginning. But what were you going to say? I was gonna say, maybe to counteract what David g was saying. As as the perspective of somebody that's listening to this episode right now, they may be thinking, well, David G. I don't know the fruit of my actions looks very attractive, and I can agree with that person from you know, my passway of thinking, like the fruit that comes with the action, the attention, the fame, the status, the just the acceptance. For people that have a hard time accepting themselves like me, I settled for the acceptance of others and that was the fruit of my actions, and I so desperately chased after that. You know, how does somebody go about changing, you know, what is attractive to them from a spiritual sense, from you know, just on a day to day like the fruit of my actions, what I see is so attractive to me, But how does it become less attractive? How do I go about you know, wanting to be in the moment because being in the moment doesn't necessarily promise me that fruit or that thing that I've been searching for for so long. That's a that's really deep, that's a deep question, you know. So so you know, we we think of you know, all of us have dreams and desires, us have expectations, all of us have a very very clear understanding of how we believe life is supposed to unfold. And then when it doesn't, necessarily, then we're disappointed. So that's that's one trajectory of our lives. Then there's this whole other thing about us being attached to the outcome. So I may want to show up and have this really sweet connection with someone, right, So let's say I'm gonna, you know, go on a date, or let's say I'm gonna meet with friends or you know, or someone, and I'm and I'm looking to like reconnect energetically. I'm looking to to really have a you know, a really sweet time with this person or whatever. Want to have fun with them, want to have a good time with them. So you know, I could have my attention in Oh, I hope when this thing ends that they'll like me more. Right, Well, if you're showing up for anything like that, you're you're you're definitely on the wrong trajectory to begin with. But you know a lot of people, you know, we're showing it up. I hope, I hope, you know, this thing happens and then I'll be happy. But if we showed up and perhaps even just became this really radical listener that person in that moment, or really connected to them, then chances are at the end of that process, that person would say, Wow, they really listen to me. Um. I don't know if I like them more or like them less, but I can certainly say, what a great skill set up there. So what a great attribute of theirs that they're that that they listen to me. I mean, that's why, that's how we forge our deeper relationships. So if if I'm attached to to the outcome, I can vision the outcome. I can see the outcome. I can I can plan for the outcome, but then I have to release it and get present and that combination I believe in terms of business, finance, sports relationships, I think that's the that's the secret. You know, have a vision. It's important to have vision, you know. We, like I said, we all have dreams and desires, but when it comes to the interaction or the action, we need to be fully present. And I can't be thinking. I can't be thinking about what an amazing lawyer I'll be while I'm taking the bar exam. I need to be fully present actually taking the bar exam. And then if I'm fully present and I brought it, then probably I'll pass. But if my attention is oh yeah, when I get to court, I'm going to really convince that judge or free that person, or you know well, and you're not gonna You're not gonna have your attention on the task at hand. So that's why it always comes back to being present. How present can we be in every critical and core moment of our life? Write down too. When you think you're about to reach for some type of addictive substance and instead you get fully present and realize and you get to ask yourself in this moment, what do I really need right now? Because if all you're thinking is like, oh, if I can take that thing or drink that thing, or take that pill or you know, snort that whatever, I'm gonna feel so light and so this. But the reality is if we show up and get present, we may choose more consciously. And it all comes down to if you're present, you get to make more conscious choices if your mind's over there, or if it's a knee jerk, or if it's a reaction, even if it's a trained reaction. We see this with cops all those bad shootings. Okay, they're trained so well, but they've been trained not to step back and breathe and reassess the situation. And I think that's a real healthy thing for all of us to do, regardless of our profession or where we find ourselves in a given moment. This is why we practice meditation, right because in the present moment is where we make less mistakes, make better decisions, and really can realign our actions with our core values. So we're making decisions from the present, from our bodies. And I always say, like the mind, the mind is tricky. It takes us down these roads that makes us feel so disconnected from the body. And the work is to merge the two together, where the mind and the body are in the same place at the same time. Earlier when we were talking about change. As a coach, my coaching program is called the Shift and I just love that because so many people are stuck and I've I've I've been there, I've been there recently and going through a breakup, and um, there's so much fear. How do you see that? Like I mean, is that the common thing that you see is why people don't want to change is because of fear or some form of it. Well, we can get really comfortable with the stuff that sucks, you know, and it's just like familiar suck is so much better than unfamiliar and scary potentially not sucking. Sure, so we've so you know, it's all about familiarity. Um. You know, we've got this part of our brain called the amygdala. You know, the amygdala is our fear center, our anger center. Um, it's you know, the part of us that triggers fight flight, you know, in certain situations. And you know, the amygdala is really a familiarity machine part of our brain. Like when we step into a room, the amygdala suddenly like scans the room. You know, who do I know? Who do I feel safe with? Who's a little weird? Who do I feel threatened by? That person's a jerk? Oh that person they look pretty Our amygdala is doing all of that to create like, so what's my safe you know safe parameter? And like our response, our brain's designed to keep us safe. So it would be a natural response of the amygdala if you walk into a room and suddenly there's people who are giving you bad vibes or people who are you know, maybe they've said something mean to you in the past, or maybe this is someone I really had a challenge with. Suddenly that fear center, the amygdala is going to pop out and say, you know, this is all unfamiliar to me. I don't want to go to that space. And so if our brain is always seeking safety in every single moment, why would we venture to someplace scary. It's only upon really knowing at some deeper level. It's that Joseph Campbell line. The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek, and so you sort of gotta go to the other side of your comfort zone to experience the richness of life. And that's a scary thing to say to someone. Oh, by the way, I know everything's okay right now. Life sucks and then you'll die, don't worry about that. But there's magnificence resting right over there. But you need to venture over there. To do it. You need to get a little vulnerable, and in your vulnerability rest your strength. But that sounds so absurd to us in that moment, like we're you know, especially you know, in male dominated endeavors, it's like, no showing weakness, showing vulnerability, showing humility, that's not how you demonstrate that you're a badass, you know, But actually, in your vulnerability truly rests your strength. If I don't have to be pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing to present a facade or an appearance, which is all about fear based. I'm just trying to not let you actually see what's inside. Then I'm putting all my attention there and it's all fake. Then all my interactions are pretty much fake. But when you can have, you know, a conversation with someone and bear you know your your true self. And I'm not saying you have to reveal intimate moments or really get personal with every single person, but you know, and of course these are you know, you pick your spots whatever they are. But we have opportunities in every single moment to show up, be present and maybe dip our toe in. How do we know what temperature the water is if we don't dip our toe in. We get to say when we dip our toe in and we go ah old, we get to say it's too cold, I'm not going in. But it's that difference, you know, that distance between me saying, well, there's the ocean, I'm not going to go swimming today. You know where there's this opportunity. M probably a little too risky well, how about everything doesn't have to be all or nothing. I think it's really one of the most important things that I've ever learned in my life is that everything doesn't have to be all or nothing. We sort of like think we live in this zero sum game, but everything doesn't have to be all or nothing. We get to, well, what's in between? You know, absolutely not going in and diving into the ocean. How about dipping your tone? How about reaching out to someone before you commit to something bigger? So I believe that if we trust our hearts, if we trust the universe, God, something bigger than us, our highest self, our highest power, you know, whatever you whatever you think that is, then we get to take scary staff. And that's where the magnificence of life is. You know, they've interviewed all these people just as they were about to die. I don't mean like, you know, a second away, but you know, a day a couple of days before, and they've said, so, what do you regret? You know, what do you what do you regret? You know, of all the things you've done in your life, you know, has there been like one regret? And it's like ninety percent of people who are about to die say the thing I regret is the stuff I didn't do. It is not the stuff I did. You know. It was holding back on apologizing. It was not forgiving. It was not taking that trip. It was not doing that thing. It was not stepping into the dark cave because I was scared. But even though I knew the treasure that I was seeking rested inside. I feel like you're describing my life for the last last year and just being totally, you know, stuck, stuck in fear in a relationship. A lot of it was changed. A lot of it was what was going to happen with my dogs and knowing that they were going to have to be split up and being so attached why and this is why the practice of non attachment is so important but also so difficult. But once I was able to walk through it, and the only reason I was able to walk through it is because I had help. I had friends, at a coach, at a therapist that we're able to point out these blind spots and you know, as I'm sharing certain things and they would say, like, it sounds like you're really rooted in fear right now. And I needed that. I needed that so bad. But at some point I was able to lean into the change and moving to California, uprooting and living in Arizona my whole life, and building this community and taking this chance, and then to see what's transpired, and David G, as you're making these analogies around the ocean, I mean, like, this is my life now, and what's went down in the last year has just been so magical. And it was scary as hell initially making that move. It's like, what is everybody else gonna think? What's gonna again, What's gonna happen with the dogs? But man, it was one of the by far, other than getting sober, probably one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. And again, the only reason I did it. I could do it because because I didn't do it alone. And I think a lot of people try to stay stuck and they try to make these decisions on their own, and then they end up not making a decision, because not making a decision actually is a decision. Yeah. I hear David g talking about safety, and that relates to me so much. I've always been somebody that wanted to have something just fall into my lap, like I would not me having to go out and go through a process to experience some pain or some discomfort for something to happened like I just wanted to come to me and me not had to put necessarily put any kind of effort into it, or you know, risk looking dumb or risk failing. And it's like you look at a word like faith for somebody that believes in God or the universe or whatever you may believe in, that word in itself is uncomfortable. You know. It's that's belief in something that you really can't scientifically prove to somebody, or you know, you can't show them exactly how it works. It just requires you believing and having a full conviction in yourself that something better is out there. You know, something more worthwhile is on the other side. But that approach and that belief is uncomfortable because you can't prove it. You can't have one hundred confirmation that something is going to happen exactly when you wanted to happen or exactly the way you want it to happen. It requires you to get out of that that little safety. Get out of that. I call it my cave. I always go to my cave and try to isolate cause I feel like it's safe there when it's really not. I'm really, you know, tearing myself down with negative self talk and not allowing myself to experience the brightness and the joy of community. So yeah, just hearing David you talk about safety and how much of an illusion it is. I hear a word like faith that so many people relate to and say and try to embody. But that in and of itself is an uncomfortable process, absolutely, And you know, and you hit it on the head when you said, you know, I don't want to risk looking dumb. I don't want to risk failing. And you know, we project like, oh if I look dumb, these are the people who are going to be looking at me and they're gonna, you know, they're so much smarter and they're gonna look at me and I have imposture syndrome at so um, it's gonna be confirmed. I am the loser, I am dumb, I am look I failed. And you know that can that can freeze us for decades. It's not like just a in a momentary decision that could freeze us for making all the important, real, critical defining moment choices of our life and so um and it's because of our orientation to failure. Failure is for losers, right, no one who's who's great, we would assume has ever failed at anything. And of course, like what are you talking about? Then every single you know, batting average would be then every you know, you know, everyone would have you know, every quarterback would have you know, five hundred yards a game. Patrick Mahomes not included in that, you know. And then suddenly, you know, you start to realize everyone's failing all the time. We just you know, just calling it failing. But if we can fail up, you know, if we can you know, I think that's like one of the most core amazing aspects of this. If we could see the past is prep if we could see I'm gonna try something now and if it doesn't work out, I really learned something and I'll and I'll do better than the next time. And if we could see ourselves as this as a process, this continuous improvement process, where there wasn't judgment about it. You know, I'll just give you an example. So this morning, I'm in the shower. I've got one of those shower things. It's like one you know, it's just one knob not too hot and cold. So um, I get into the ship, turn it on and it's like suddenly it's cold, blest of you know, of of of icy water just hits me. And I was like who and I you know, turned it, you know, the other way, and then suddenly it was just like ah, like burning myself and you know, um, and then I adjusted back to the cold and serve you know, of course corrected just a little bit. You know, at no point during my shower did I say, oh my god, you're such an idiot. You can't even adjust the water for your shower. It's like I was learning and if I'm gonna beat myself up every time you take a shower because I don't like nawl the water temperature exactly. You know, we we you know, every boat that leaves a port is off course for the entire journey until it pulls into the next port with just constant, just little course corrections you know as they move, you know, but we've got you know, our society is like either you're a winner or you're a loser. Either you're a succeeder or you're a failure. And so if we can see, the past is always prep and every moment is sort of kind of an experiment to see if I can you know, actualize whatever my desire is in the moment where whatever my vision is in the moment, and then have the response that didn't work out like I anticipated? How can I course correct? Here? You're using that that situation not as failure, but as data for the next step. And Donnie, you are a you know, a bold MF you know, because you know picking up, you know, leaving. You know, I'm I'm not into dogma, but I'm really into dogs, So I know, you know the pain of like I gotta leave my dog, I got to split up my dogs, got to move, you know, move into another place. I want to be in this other place. I gotta leave this relationship. You know, you know we you know the list of all the things that could have held you back going back to that you know, really familiar discomfort, you know, um, but you took the unfamiliar step, you know, you took the road that was less traveled, and I think you're reaping the benefits of that. You know, think of all the gifts that you've received and all the all the amazing, the richness of life is it's on the other side. Um you know, it's on the other side of your most conscious choice making well, and yet nobody does anything. What's really cool how this has come full circle as you know you were. I credit you for giving me access to meditation because I think, like many when they first started meditating, they ruggle to get into meditation. But I found you. I think it was on like iTunes at the time, and your storytelling it just made it accessible to me where I could just listen and be guided through my meditations, and it really is what started me in my practice. But on a lot of your meditations you would start or end and say, coming to you from the sweet spot of the universe, and I didn't really know what you were talking about. But since I've moved to North County, California, I'm pretty close to you now I know exactly what you're talking about. But I think for people that are stuck or unwilling to change, I think you always have to die to the old to step into the unknown. You have to die to the old, whether that's your thoughts, whether that's your old life. I think some people are unwilling to let go, and so they can't really step into something new. So it's that constant practice of releasing and inviting. You gotta let go of something, sacrifice something to achieve something else. But I just come back to I'm just thinking about all of the people and a little bit of a lot of my willingness to receive some guidance and help to get through that. And again, man, one of the best decisions I've ever made. Here you're talking about letting go, and it's like, how do you let go without forgiving yourself first? You know, I hear David G. Shower analogy and the way he talked about you know, I didn't beat myself up for changing the knob, and I feel like a lot of people do that, whatever it is in their life, especially with meditation. I feel like that's what may scare a lot of people off from It's like I can't sit still and not have a single thought for eight hours, or if their mind drifts, they're like, oh I can't, I can't get this thing right, like, and come down on themselves so hard instead of you know, developing that compassion for yourself and you know, just the lessons that we learn from meditation. I feel like apply so much to life because it's like, if you give yourself that compassion in the moment to lit yourself to come back like okay, like I see myself going, but when I come back right here to the moment where where it matters, and continue to build repetitions like that, and then that would translate into something that you're holding on in your life that you need to let go in order to get to where you want to go. You can have more compassion for yourself to do that. So it's you know, if we can get past that block of meditation having to look perfect or like David G said, all or nothing like that mindset. I suffer from that too, So if we can find a way to get past that and forgive ourselves for other little fluctuations, that's where the progress comes. I'm glad you're bringing up forgiveness because David G. I know you have one of my favorite meditations is Healing through Forgiveness, and you talk about the three types of forgiveness, and I think one of your lines in that meditation is when we forget, when we forgive ourselves, or when we forgive, we free ourselves from the ties from those that hurt us. Yeah, because you know, whatever grudge we're holding, that's only in us, it's not them. It's not like we have this like special little button that we could push, like I'm thinking of you and I want you to die. We don't have that button we have. We only have the internalization of that stuff. So you know, we we don't forgive others as freely as we should. And you know, it's really funny. The first time I ever saw that was in a church basement where they were holding twelve step programs, and I was like, wow, when we forgive, we free ourselves from the ties that bind us to the one that hurt us. It's like, yes, I will drink poison and you will die. You know, we're holding on so tight to this thing that the other person perhaps is not even thinking about. You know, so let's forget them for a moment. Let's forget everyone outside of ourselves. You know, the ancient teachings pretty much tell us, you know, we need to activate within ourselves certain aspects, you know, kindness, self kindness. If we can be kind to ourselves, we could probably be kind to others a little more authentically. Otherwise we're just like faking it. And phoning it in, you know, having a fake smile and acting kind we're acting. How long can you hold that pose? Compassion? Self compassion? What's compassion, It's it's rooting for someone's suffering to end. So we have so much compassion for people who are victims of this and victims of that, and or are struggling with this and struggling with that. But yet we don't necessarily apply that same approach to ourselves, which is, let me root for my own suffering to end, not like I deserved it, you know, it's a whole, you know, self worth kind of thing. The third thing is forgiveness, self forgiveness before we start forgiving the world, because we think like, oh yeah, I forgive you, Oh it's okay, okay, whatever, really think of all the stuff we have, like a list of that's like probably like infinity long, of all the stuff that we are holding against ourselves that we are not forgiving ourselves for. And so before we can really you know, formally and really officially forgives someone else's transgression against us, we have to begin that work on ourselves. I have to forgive myself because I was a kid when I made a bad choice. I have to forgive myself because maybe I got swept up in a period of addiction, and you know what, I was doing my best from my level of consciousness at the time, which probably was pretty low, but it was the best I had. But now I have a higher consciousness, so I could do better. So that's it. Let me forgive myself for being human, doing stupid shit and doing stuff that probably you know in hindsight, You know, in hindsight, I you know, I I of course I knew, you know, but not in the moment. In the moment, I was like, all right, I'll go down this path. But here we are right now, sort of further down the road on those paths, and we've got that opportunity to sort of like, let me forgive myself for a whole bunch of stupid choices that I made, a whole bunch of decisions I made out of fear or desperation or illness or like all the times we act from a low vibration, you know, we know why. You know. We were high, we were tired, we were sick, we were angry, we were upset. You know, the list is this is pretty long. M you know, we were in the throes of some kind of addiction, you know, pick the thing and like, rather than making the list of here's where I sucked, and there's where I and there's where I sucked and there and there and there. How bet if we say I was doing my best from my level of consciousness, doesn't excuse anything. It explains it all. But now, let me just keep doing things that are nourishing, doing things that are in service to other people, doing things that elevate me and nourish me, and I'll probably make better choices just by showing up in that space too much. That's given comes great responsibility, and I think that's the level of accountability today, that level of awareness, knowing these practices of forgiveness, you know, it's kind of what pulls me forward often is just knowing that I know a lot more than I did then, or I'm a little bit more aware than I was then, and that allows me to forgive myself. But it also gives me that kick in the butt to like use the tools, because the tools only work if you use them, and you as a teacher, you're a coach or a leader, you can only take your people as far as you're willing to go. So it's like, you know, if you're not doing the work, energy is everything that most people are gonna sniff that out at some point. Absolutely, I feel like that's a great transition, because David, I wanted to ask you, you know, as being you know who you are, as a prominent teacher and somebody that is guiding so many other people to freedom, just by the way that you use your words, Um, what do your daily practices look like? What are your mantras and affirmations on a busy day or a stressful day, or you know, when you're feeling tired or frustrated, like, what are what are some of those tools for you? Well, they've changed over the years. You know. In my early years of practice, I was always like I would get still and then I would set intentions. And my intentions were typically I want this you know position, I want that possession, I want that new car, I want to be thought of by people like this. You know. There were all these external things that I was trying to to manifest in my life. Some of them I got, you know, some work like score, and a lot I didn't. But there was like a shift in my whole, whole orientation to my practice. When I shifted from rather than what are all the seeds I want to plant so that I can have all this other stuff? And how can I till my soil? How can I cultivate who I am? I'm much less concerned over the thing outside, you know, because for the seed to manifest it needs to be like the perfect seed in perfect soil. But if I can put my attention on who am I going to be when I show up today, in this moment, just for today, who am I going to you know, who's that person? What are the traits, character sticks, what are the qualities that I'm going to amplify just today? Well, if I can till that soil so it's so rich and so fertile, then whatever seeds blow into it, they're going to sprout. I can have the most amazing seed in the world. But if it's I'm planting it on a rock, it's not gonna it's not going to manifest into anything. And so that was, you know, Darren, for me, that was like the biggest shift in my life when I stopped putting my attention on all the seeds. I want this, I want this, I want this, I want this. I want this to who can I be today? How can I show up today? And we know that whether people are going for job interviews, or we're showing up on game day or going out on a date, or being in a relationship or just having dinner with someone that you care about, it's it's not about you know, planting the seed. Well, I hope it comes out okay. Who what are you going to bring? You know, what you are you going to bring to the moment? And so every morning, those are the questions that I asked myself. I begin with some you know, just by you know, settling in and people you know, you know, and Donnie, I know, you know you've you've talked about this a lot, you know, with all your clients as well as you know in comeback stories. But you know this this concept of you know, just watching you know, just just starting off by watching your breath. Just you know, you can't do a meditation wrong realistically. The only bad meditation is the one you don't show up for. So um, you know, no one ever said after even five minutes of meditation, well that sucked. That was a waste of time. No matter what, after the meditation's over, you know, sort of like a yoga class where you go like, oh, I can't believe I was going to bail on that one. You know, how do I show up? So for me, um, the most important thing is like my morning meditation. I want to set that you jectory of my day. I want to set the tone of my day. So I'll begin by asking myself after I'm just like sitting down. I don't have to cross your legs. You know, you don't have to you know, do hand moodras or do anything cooked out. You could just sit in it on your couch, you could sit on the floor, you could lay down whatever it is. You know, comfort as queen. So you gotta get as comfortable as possible. And then I'll ask myself some really important deeper questions and I'll ask you know what am I grateful for? It's like that's my starting point to the day. And a lot of people, you know, feel that, you know, it's meditation going to get away in my get in the way of my relationship to God. No, it's perfect. Meditation actually allows you to listen to the whispers of the of God or of your heart whatever. You know. We pray for a lot of stuff. We ask for a lot of stuff. We're not spending a lot of time listening for answers. We're pretty rude in that way. Imagine all of our conversations with God are primarily one way, you know, And so imagine if we then have the moment to sit and listen two replies, listen to those downloads that we might you know that we might get. So really, that's my first thing, is what am I grateful for? The second thing I asked, Tipoli's what does my heart need right now? And I'll place my fingertips on my heart. And I know this sounds like soft and woo woo and gibberish and like whatever, But you know, I want to walk through the world. You know, I've been harsh a lot of my life, harsh to myself, harsh externally. I want to be softer. I want to be kinder to me and to everyone around me. So I'll ask what does my heart actually need? And I think it's a really deep question. Not asking your head that question, You're really asking your heart, and you need to give it, you know, a minute or so to answer. And the third question I ask is how can I help others? How can I heal others, How can I serve others using my unique gifts, my native energies, my special talents. Because if I could serve the world in some way and fill myself up simultaneously, and I don't have to be like curing cancer or you know, feeding ever. You know, you know everyone who's who's hungry, it's like, how can I help heal and serve? And so I'll ask those questions then, you know, I'll spend maybe a minute on each one of those, and then I'll ask, like, okay, let me now invite an intention for the day, just for today, tomorrow, take care of itself. You know what traite quality or characteristic? Can I level up? Can I amplify? Can I embrace at a higher level. Maybe today it's patience, Maybe today it's um working harder. Maybe today it's challenging myself. Maybe today it's forgiveness. You know, I get to choose, and it's it's rolling around it now it'd suggests people all, so you know, do that practice. And after I've then invited that into me, you know, I've invited that intention in and planted it like a seed in that fertile soil, then I let go of outcome because I've planted it, I'm going to show up that way and then to really activate it further, that's when I go into stillness and silence. That's where I have a meditation practice where I can just be either watching my breath or repeating a mantra. That mantra can be in any that that mantra can be in Arabic, that mantra can be in Hebrew, that mantra can be in Sanskrit, it could be in English. A mantra that I really like is I am? And so I could do that just for you know a little bit, and then as I come out of that, I always want to establish, you know, for me, I have like four rolling affirmations that you know. Number one, I am whole. Number two, I am loved, Number three, I am love. Number four I am peace. If I can move through the world feeling whole, loved, flowing love, and being peace, what can't I accomplish? It doesn't matter. This could be every interaction I have with anyone in my life. This could be the hardest and dirtiest jobs that I'm going to do, and this could be like the easiest stuff like hanging out in the supermarket and everything in between. Um, you know, I'm inherently you know, I'm a I'm a warrior. I think everybody listening right here is a warrior. You know. We are in a in a battle for which wolf we're going to feed, you know, the good wolf for the bad wolf. And you know, and there's and there's a battle. There's a good battle going on in our heart. There's a battle going on in our head. And so if I can infuse certain traits and qualities and characteristics in to each of those moments, you know, then I feel like I'm in ninja. It might be the you know, I don't need to you know, I was just watching Braveheart on TV last night. Um, you know, these are like people like running with axes across battle fields to get stuff done. It's like they always ended up with like a giant spear in their chest or something like that. It's not like they ever like did uh and then then they moved on. There are smarter ways to fight those battles, and we you know, it's not you know, physically hurting someone or yelling at them, especially if it's ourselves. But you know, maybe starting with forgiveness. A great question to ask myself throughout the course of the day, especially when I'm plotting somebody's murder, is where is love and forgiveness? Where is love and forgiveness? You know, when you just when you're about like, I can't believe they did that. It's inexcusable that they acted like that. I can't believe they said that. I can't believe whatever it is. Then I'll come back to where is love and forgiveness here? You know, and it really stettles me. So I am whole, I am loved, I am love, I am peace. I can just bring my badass self to every single moment, you know, I can bring my machete, but knowing it that I am love, what am I going to do with that machete? Well, we'll find out, but I'm probably gonna do it lovingly, like we're gonna have to have you on probably quarterly. This is just like fully in the flow, and I think this is why I've just always resonated with again, starting with your meditations and your words. It's it's powerful stuff. Man. You're a very very important person in my life, and just having you on here as a gift, I know the listeners are going to be receiving a gift and a lot of wisdom and knowledge. So thank you, Thank you for showing up, thank you for being a dear friend to me and for coming on with us. Mhm, David G. Thank you for coming on here today. Thank you for coming on here. Man. I appreciate you for what you did for me this past weekend. Um. Man, I feel like you've equipped a lot of warriors that are listening today to this show with a lot of tools they can go forward with. UM. And I feel like that's the best thing that we can do as as human beings, is to continue to give, continue to serve. Like you said, so, I couldn't thank you enough man. Well, thank you both. Um. Thanks for creating comeback stories. You know, you guys are that one plus one equals infinity. UM. So I'm so glad that I could, um, you know, maybe add some some level of value to your already like amazing trajectory. You know, the amount of people you're helping and and and serving is just crazy. I love you guys, UM, thanks for thinking of me. Love your brother, absolutely love you. Man. All right, are out? What's up? Comeback Stories? Family? It's Donnie dropping in here. So did you know that Darren and E's relationships started by me being his personal development, mindfulness and mindset coach. I want to let you know about both my one on one coaching program, The Shift, and my group Mastermind Elevate your Purpose. These coaching programs are specifically designed for people who are ready to take the next step in their purpose and level up their career, personal finances, and have more connected, deep and meaningful relationships. My gift and part of my purpose is to help others take that next step and leveling up their lives so that they can have a greater impact on the lives of others, create success that sustainable yet evolves and grows, and help build a legacy that will outlive your life. If this is calling you, just go to Donnie Starkins dot com and apply for either one of my programs.