Maxx Crosby's Comeback Story

00:00:09 Speaker 1: Welcome back, y'all to another episode of Comeback Stories. Honored to have the guests in the building today. A man that I've gotten to grow closer with over this past year and change, just on the field and just as a brother in life with similar struggles. I love to welcome a demon on the field, but you know, a great man off the field as well, my teammate, my boy and Mass Crosby Masks. Welcome to the show. Yes, sir, thank y'all for having me on. Man, Yes, sir, it's great to have you here. Man, we like to just get right into the story. Man, So tell us what growing up for you was like. You know as a kid, M my whole childhood, I was kind of the outsider in a way. UM. I always hated authority. UM. I like doing things my own way and always thought my way was the only way. I was a kid who who went through a lot, but at the same time just always found a way to get through whatever I was going through. UM. I had an older brother. UM without him, I don't know where I would be. UM, just his influence, the way he pushed me. My dad as well. You know, growing up, it wasn't nothing was on a silver spoon, and they just constantly, constantly pushed me to be the best me. But I knew deep down I always wanted to be a football player, Like that was my main goal in life. Was like I wanted to go to the NFL. And I remember, even from the youngest age, like I was super insecure. I always like my protection for myself was like I could do it my way. My way is the only way. So I just knew growing up, like even when teachers were going around the class and they would say what do you want to be when you're older, and people were laughing at me, and I would always put an NFL player, And that was you know, since I was a child, and that was always my dream. But along the way, there was a lot of a lot of hiccups, a lot of ups and downs. Um. I started partying when I got in the high school, and that was like my new love. Um the first time I drank, I knew, I was like, oh my god, like this is incredible. So UM, I knew for me it was it was at escape because I was so insecure. UM. I didn't know how to really talk to girls when I was younger. UM, I didn't know how to interact with my friends the same way. And it was just like that kind of getaway where I could really open up and just be myself. And I felt like it was my savior for a little while. But after time, you know, it became m my downfall. Um. I knew it was the one thing that saved me at one point, but it also is the one thing that almost took me off this planet. Um it was you know when in high school, I knew when I took that first drink, like I couldn't drink like the rest of my friends. I didn't know how to limit myself in any way. So yeah, you know, growing up there was there was so many ups and downs. You know, my main goal was always you know, being an NFL player. That was like that never left my head. But my childhood was a lot of ups and downs. To say the least, I hear you like what you said about the you know, the insecurities. We'd like to ask on here, what was then early memory of pain for you, because I can trace back where my insecurity started. It was when you know, people were telling me that I wasn't black enough like people on my own skin color. So that used to rub me the wrong way. People said I was too much of a nerd or cared too much, Like why do you dress like that? Why you talk like that? So it was those memories I look back on, was like, wow, this is That's why I felt like I had to numb myself out or that's why I felt like I had to overcompensate. What was what was an early moment for painting for you in your life? Yeah? You know for me, Um, probably my like first like big insecurity that I remember, Like my brother was my brothers He was a superstar in high school. You know, my brother got a lot of attention. He's a pretty boy to get all the girls. He was smooth, he can do that. And I really looked up to him. And I was a younger, shorter, chubbier dude, his red hair, and like I was so insecure and I didn't know like I always wanted to be like my brother and be you know, cool like him. And like for me growing up, I was like almost chasing what he had in a way, and I knew like obviously I'm not gonna like he was a star football player. I wasn't a star football player in high school. It took me a long time to really get there. He was a pretty boy. I wasn't at all, you know, I wasn't a draw to you know, girls and things like that. So for me, like football, you know when I talked about football from the start, like that was my way of being cool originally, Like I knew, I knew if I wasn't cool and football, I'm like, Okay, that's how I'll be accepted. And that's kind of how the party scene got involved. So I started going to parties and I drank, and I'm like, oh my god, like okay, I got football and I got drinking these I'm gonna live a great life. And you know, obviously too much of anything is not good. So um yeah, that was kind of like my first my first like insecurity for you sound just like me, man, because it was like right when I started using that was when I started growing and I could start playing varsity football and varsity sports, and then people started seeing me now and I was like I could make those friends, I could be in those environments, and I could also quiet now what was going on in my mind. So it was like it felt like the perfect recipe. And so whenever anything came up to try to take that away from me. I was not gonna give it up, Like I was willing to deal with any consequence to keep holding on to what I was doing. That's crazy, but we'd love to ask, you know, who was your first real teacher in your life, Like somebody that taught you how to work, somebody that taught you how to deal with adversity in life in your own way. I know you were talking about your brother a lot. Yeah, for sure. You know, I have to keep it in the family, you know, because you know my mom. Like my mom, my dad, and my brother, we're a huge influence. And just seeing like I could saw my dad like my dad for me when I was young. He was always really hard on us, just about work ethic, like doing the right things, being at school on time, like and I was so rebellious, and at that time, I thought everything I did was like the right way to do things. So I didn't really care, you know about going to school on time. I would miss school all the time to go and smoke weed in the parking lot and just go straight home after basketball or football, And that's really all I cared about. And my sports is the only thing like I can't even imagine if I didn't have athletic ability, you know where I would be. So just looking at it that way, Like my dad, even when I was in Peewee, like he pushed me super hard, like show up on time, sure, do this, blah blah. And I didn't understand it at the time, and I didn't really get like the point. But my dad always was hard for a reason, and I really appreciate like the way he pushed me because without him, I wouldn't be here. And my mom, you know, my mom and I are very similar, and we just we have like a real like friendship friendship. It's it's not it's it's really unique to say the least. And my mom always just told me from a young age, like just be yourself, like never be afraid to just be you. You don't have to be a follower like that was one thing she always told me. Don't be a follower. Don't your max like b max, like people love you for you. You don't have to try to act like anybody else. So that's the main thing that stuck with me for her. Because in football, like my friend groups and things, I would always when I was younger, I was trying, Okay, am I gonna be like these guys are what am I gonna? How am I gonna act around these people? And like once I just said, like okay, I don't need to be like anybody else. I can just be me and that's okay, And that's something I still work on today. But like my mom has always preached that since I was a kid, and I appreciate it for that. My brother, you know, my having a big brother is extremely special and hard at the same time, because you know, the big brothers always gonna push you super hard, it's gonna be tough on you and things of that nature. But my brother, like he really instilled like that toughness, like don't don't take could I cuss on here? I don't know if I'm sorry, Like, just don't take shit from anybody, um, like, just be yourself of work. You know, I saw that work ethic from my brother. And he was a D one athlete at one time, and you know I've seen that from him, so uh yeah, you know, I give a credit to all of them, and it's just yeah, you know, bits and pieces from everybody that really for me to who I am. I think mom mom planting that seed of authenticity, right. And I sit here and I see you two having a conversation and really being comfortable in your own skin and stepping into this and really choosing impact over inanimity where it's like, this is who you are. It's really cool to see the lessons that we learned early on in life and how you're implementing them now. It's it's good stuff. Man. Can you you talked about your first drink and how you felt. Can you kind of walk us through the first drink to the last drink? Yeah? You know, uh, like I said, from the first drink, I knew it was like, oh my god, this is my savior. I have a personality now, I'm not scared to talk and do these things. And you know the thing on top of that, I from high school. That's the first time I started drinking. Like I every time I drank, I was blacked out, I was puking. I didn't and at the time everybody around was like, ah, you just you know, he got to slow down and just have a little bit less And I didn't understand that concept in my brain. I just like I just went and went and went um and I deep down, I knew almost from day one like that I had. I wasn't like everybody else. I kind of had a problem. Um I loved it too much. So yeah, you know, all throughout college, UM I had. I had struggles as well. Um, I got a duy in college, wrecked my car, ended up spending a night in jail, and just the problems. Every time every problem in my life that came about was drinking was involved. You know, I was not sober. So looking back at it, I'm like, well, it's a common denominator. Um I you know it was. It was non stop, and I gotta give a big credit, you know, to my girlfriend. Um, I'm still with it. We've been together for over five years now because when I met her my sophomore year, she changed my life because a lot of people around me were just like, oh, he's in college. You know, my excuse in high school. He's in high school's having fun and you're in college. Oh, well, you're in college. You're allowed to have fun and party and drink. And she was the one person that was with me every single day and she got to really see me on a daily basis and see how it affected me and it affected our relationship and all the relationships around me, and her being so transparent and honest with me m changed my perspective on a lot of things. And at the time it we had, you know, horrible battles yelling at each other, and I'm in denial and denial and denial. But without her, honestly, I wouldn't. I don't know where I would be. You know. For her, she's She's made the biggest impact of my life, honestly than anybody. Um, it's crazy because she you know, she was brutally honest and she didn't care. And I needed that because if I didn't have that and I kept having success in football and people are like, oh, it's all good. You know, he's just maxtually party. If that would have continued, I don't, you know, I don't know if I'll be on this planet anymore. So, yeah, she was. She was huge on me, and it led up all the way until the NFL. You know, I continued to drink and it got worse and worse and worse, and I got crazier and wilder, and the blackouts were more insane, and I was go missing for a day and it was just it got to a point where it just became so unmanageable and I felt so sick and just bad. I could not stop. I was drinking every day, and it got to a point where like my whole body, like I felt like I was gonna I was gonna go, like I was, I was at my last um, you know, my last straw. And I just I woke up in the morning, looked myself in the mirror and I didn't even really realize who I was looking at, Like I wasn't discussed. I couldn't even like make eye contact with myself. And that's what it came down to. I contacted my agent, my girlfriend. She knew the whole time. So I just I got all the people I love. I told him I was just super honest for the first time in a long time, and just told him everybody, like listen, I've been drinking, I've been doing all this crazy shit like I need help, like or I'm not gonna be here for long. And you know, obviously Darren Darren was a part of that too. He knew what was going on, and uh, yeah, you know, it's just it's just a blessing that I, you know, finally looked myself in the mirror and got honest before you did surrender, What would you say was the like one thing holding you back? Um, I think it's a big part of It's like fear looking at it. Like my mindset now is so much different than it was when I was using I At that time, I could never like I knew I needed to get sober, but I would always look in the future of Okay, so if I get sober, how the hell am I going to live five years from now and still be sober and continue to do that when I'm retired playing football and do it. I would just my mind will go a million miles an hour. So the thing I think it was like fear of like missing out and fear of being different, you know, a fear of just living a different lifestyle because I was so selfish and so wrapped up and what I had, you know going on that Like I couldn't imagine living on somebody else's terms. Like I've always wanted all control and it was all about me and me and me, So uh yeah, you know that was that was kind of the overall basis. I was just like terrified of everything, and uh, finally just got to a point where it was I had no other option. What was that lowest point for you? Um? Waking up alone in my own house, Um in Vegas. You know, I bought a house. I should be happy and doing Literally I'm waking up alone, miserable, covered and sweat in my own bed. My toes are curled up. I'm so cramped up and dehydrated that I literally couldn't even move like, So it was that that was it for me. I'm like, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Like, I just had a great rookie year. Things were going well. From the outside. Everyone thinks, oh, Max is living a life and he's doing great and he's having success. But inside I was at the lowest point a person can get to without you know, being gone, and it was it was scary. Um, I was. I was terrified, and uh yeah, that's when I knew. It was like, all right, this is it's gone way too far and I need I need to really change everything. I can relate a lot to that. I had other decisions and situations and overdoses and things that happened, but that wasn't the lowest point for me. Mine is similar to yours where I would wake up every single day first thing in the morning and not think about breakfast, shower. I would think about grabbing my pills, taking my pills so that you know, twenty minutes later, because I was taking on an empty stomach, that they would kick in and I could just like like, I would just feel like this warm, soothing feeling come over me, and I knew I could go deal with life on life's terms, but to wake up and be in that cycle. So for two hours I was good and then start to wear off, and then the anxiety and the fear and the sweat and you know, the heart racing all coming back. So it was it was sick and tired of being sick and tired of being being hooked in that cycle. So I can I can relate so much to to your bottom, absolutely, But yeah, talking about that, let's get to the other side of that. What has your journey looked like from when you know you took that ride with Scott g Scott shout of Scott g Um. You know, what has your life looked like since you you got that help and you really went there and opened up and and wanting to accept you know, everything that you had to face and we're rulling to embrace the challenge of the work that would take to be the man that you are today. What has it been like since that day? Yeah, you know, Uh, it's been it's been a roller coaster, you know. From the It's like when you first get sober, that first like a couple of days, you're like, oh my god, I'm finally I'm free. I can be myself. Like I'm like, okay, this is a fresh start. I can just clean my slate. And but then after okay, it's a month. Now it's two months over, You're like, all right, now, what the hell do I do? Like I was, you know, I didn't know what what to really do. I I was lost, and you know, you start substituting you know, alcohol and drugs for other you know, women and food, and you're trying to find that other thing and you're like fighting and fighting. So I could say that first year, those first twelve months were the hardest, probably just as hard as the twelve months before that when I was fighting, using and doing all that, because just mentally I was in a really bad place, fighting myself every day. But I knew, like deep down, like everybody around me was telling me, all my mentors and everything's like, trust me, just you have to stick it out. You can do it. You can do it, and you can do it. And I knew I was strong enough to do it, and I just trusted and believed in the process and just the twelve steps and constantly doing the things I didn't want to do. I knew ultimately it would pay off. And that's something I've been afraid to do my whole life, and I've always wanted to just do things my way. And I find him like, listen, my way didn't work for men. I know for a fact it didn't work for me, and it got me do a damn rehab facility and it got me to all these issues that I had going on. So I was like, it's you know, this is way past me at this point. I gotta trust everybody else around me. They want, you know, this is where I need to be um at the end of the day, and I knew I needed to be there, so I just had to keep pushing. And you know, I'm almost nineteen months now and things are a lot better. You know, it's not perfect, but I wake up in the morning and I love the person that I look at the in the mirror, and that's that's most important. And you know, my relationships are a lot better. Um, there's still a ton of work to do, but um it's it's gotten a little bit, you know, a little bit better every single day. It's amazing, man, how the narrative can change. You know, before it was like running from things, like if it would feel better for me to have relief if I ran in the opposite direction, Whereas now it's like I could stand in the paint and go towards those things that are bothering me, that are challenging me, because I know that's the path to real freedom. And you know that translates into everything. You know that that spiritual energy, that mental energy starts to build up and you have more to attack the day, and that definitely translates onto the field. Like the freedom that I had inside of me inside my mind is what has created the gap between me and other players in the league. Like that's what's created helped create my ascension, and I know that it's the same for you. You know, it's that approach, It's that diligence to the day to day principles and routines like tell us about how your day to day lifestyle has changed. Yeah, just like you said, like that was the hardest thing for me initially, Like getting sober, I'm like, how is how am I going to even you know, being football? Because I remember when I was a rookie, like and even in college, I was Okay, I got practice today, I got this. But I know after I could hit the blunt and or do something right and I'll be good. So I just gotta make it through this and I'll be fine. And game days a game days, I'll be fine. On game day, I know I can do my thing. And then when you get sober, it's like, all right, you play a game, whatever you dood, you do bad, and no matter what for me in the past, if you do good or bad, I can smoke. If I do good, all right, we celebrate go hard. So it was just like my first year being sober in the league, like last year it was just battling and battling and battling. But now like my day to day approach is so diligent with my recovery and just worried about winning today. And Scott g like you said, talks about it like it's our superpower. And I'm you know, I'm starting to see it like and even in practice and just my every day approach to showing up in the building. And like we talked about it before, like last year, I was miserable showing up in the building. I didn't even like it was hard every single day just being there. And now it's like, I'm so blessed and lucky to show up and play football and do it for a job and make money and have fans and people that admire you. Like it's it's crazy if you really just put in the everyday work. And that's for me, Like that's my mentality every day is wake up, put a smile on your face, and just work, you know, out work everybody around you. Man, that energy is so contagious. Because I don't know if y'all have watched the Raiders game anytime soon, This man right here can have the stadium lit, have seventy thousand people going nuts just off of his energy and the vibe that he brings to you know, how he works in the game. Um, I appreciate it. But yeah, man, I want to ask you what are what do you think you're most grateful for? Today. That's that's a tough question. UM. I could say, you know, there's so many people I can shout out and do all that. But I think I'm most grateful for having another opportunity to live the way I'm supposed to live. UM. I think God as a has a much bigger plan for me. UM. And that's what I look forward to every single day because it's not in my hands anymore. UM, I don't have to put so much pressure on myself. I just I'm grateful I can really just show up every single day and be who I am. And I'm starting to figure out who I am as a person every single day and just finding new ways to become better because I was at a point where one thing goes the wrong way, you know, doesn't go my way, and I could be I could have overdosed, I could have I don't you know, anything could have happened, and I'm just blessed that I get to be here. I'm being in you know, get to play in the NFL has been my dream since I was a child. It's just, you know, it's it's remarkable, how you know I'm here today, to be honest, it's it's incredible. And I'm just super blessed. There's so much you said earlier, and I'm gonna take a step back a few things. One of them was how you said you like the person or love the person that you see in the mirror, and right after that you said, my relationships are are great, And it's basically because the relationship you have with yourself is great. We always say the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. When we're not right with ourselves right, we will we will well hurt people, hurt people. If we're hurting, we will, whether we're doing it subconsciously or with intention or sabotage, we will take everybody down with us. Yeah, No, I think you're you're spot on, Like that's for me. Like my mom always said that too, like you can't love anybody unless you love yourself, And uh, that's it couldn't be more true. I knew when I used to hate the person I looked at in the mirror, it affected my relationship with my girl, or let my relationship with my parents, my relationship with my younger sister, my brother, all my friends. Like I was somebody who could not be trusted, I couldn't be relied on to show up at the most simple thing, or show up at a family event, show up and just be a normal human being. Uh, And that's always something I strive for. I didn't want to like, I want to be somebody who can be trusted, um, somebody who you can rely on if you need me. Like, that's that's always something that's something I've always wanted. So yea, you know, there's still, like I said, a ton of work to do, but it's a little bit better today than it was, you know, a couple of years ago. Well, there will always be work to do, for sure. And I think the other thing you talked about was what I heard was this idea of conditional happiness, which I think is why a lot of our world is struggling to be happy. It's this I'll be happy when like I'll be happy after the game when I can hit the blunt. I'll be happy when I can get after it and party after the game. But what we know is that happiness happens in the present. It happens in the now, and I think so many people are chasing I'll be happy when I get the job, the car, whatever, the house, and it's like, no we have to find it now. We have to find it in the moment. If we're always seeking, always striving, always chasing for things outside of us, I mean, we know no expectations, right, We're always going to be let down. Yeah, I think you know it hits home for me because I know that's exactly how I used to think, Like okay in college, Like that was my all right, if I got to have a big year this year is my final year in college. Once I get to the NFL, like I'll be happy, And I wanted to worry. Like I was like in my head, my drinking issues would go away and I would be I would be better and I'm happy because I'm making money, and none of that mattered. I was in the lowest place when I had the most you know, the most money you know, last whatever. A year and a half ago. I'm in the NFL. I'm in my second year. It's the most money I've ever had in my life, and I was at my lowest. So like all that, the money, the material things, all this, like that doesn't bring happiness at all. Just like you said, you know, it comes comes from within, and you got to do that work every single day. Part of that work is service, right. I think both of you guys are men of service in the work, in the action every day. And that's the other piece of this where I mentioned to people and I whether it's true or not, I feel like for Darren because I know him a little better than you that you know, football could end and I think he'd be okay where my story. Baseball ended for me, and that was my core wound. That's what almost killed me because I put all of my purpose and everything was about baseball, and then one day it was gone. I didn't know who I was. My whole identity was attached to that, and I had lost my purpose and I didn't want to feel the emotional pain of the loss. Yeah, I had massive surgeries on my knee. That was the story. The truth was the loss of who I was. That's why I was now met out every single day. Yeah. No, I could definitely relate to that, that's all. Since I was a kid, like I said earlier, like I really, football was always my dream and it's still the biggest love of my life. I love what I do, but I'm more like I wake up today and the first thing I don't think about is all right, what am I doing on? It's like, all right, I need to take care of myself. I need I'm more more worried about teammates and how how is my d line doing? And how are these guys doing? How am I going to lead today? How am I going to set an example in the building? Things of that nature? Because all this success and things of that, you know, things that nature come from all the little work you do. And I that's why I talk about, you know, with Darren like, just seeing him and what he's done since he's come to the Raiders like is a prime example of what it is to show up and be humble, work hard, and do all the little things right and success come your way. Because this dude is he came into the building. Everyone knew his story. We didn't know of him personally, but we just knew, all right, you guys suspended a year boom boom boom. But he showed up every single day. He was transparent, cool with everybody and just worked. And you see where it's gotten him. You know, he's a pro bowler. He's doing that and that's something I want to be. So seeing that stuff like that gave me hope At one of my lowest points, like just seeing him, like, Okay, if this dude could come from an overdose and come from where he came from, like there's a chance that I can do it myself. So it's super special. Can you guys just talk a little bit more about your relationship and the things that you guys talk about what others would see as guys, guys masculine dudes. What's your conversations are like and what your relationship is like? Now, yeah, I mean it's it's a lot different than what you know. You see the alpha's in the NFL in the past, like the stars of their teams. You know, it's just you know, just beat people into the ground, and you know, but you don't really talk about what's going on in your life like you do your thing on the field. But it's just like that's all that there is to you for what the world can see. But for us, it's like we feel like we're in like a very unique leadership position because we're doing it from a place of authenticity. You know a lot of times where you know, a lot of men may think, man, why is he talking about that? That that's that may be a sign of weakness but really that is our strength, and that allows us to go out on the field where it's like, you know, I've put my myths out there, I've shown y'all what I've done, who who I was. But you know that leads to freedom. I can go out there and put whatever probably out there on the field, whatever in the world, and I can be free of outside opinion, free of you know, scrutiny, those things affect me anymore because I know who I am, I know who I'm trying to become. So it's just it's just a new style of leadership. I don't think anybody else is really is really doing it leading from that place of I was broken, but now I'm here, and that's what really is allowing me to maximize on this opportunity with gratitude and true strength. And it's just the day to day process. It's like, we know that this game could have been taken from us, but now if we just approach it every day with the best effort, the best preparation, the best attitude, then the results happen. When I stop thinking about the results and stay in the present, like you said, Donnie, that's when the magic happened. So we do that and we just try to spread that message to our teammates. And it's like we can just look at each other, dap each other up, give each other a hug, and we know like what time it is and that we're gonna set the tone because guys are looking to us. Yeah, you know, he basically covered it all, like we have such a unique a unique way of living and a unique way of leading, you know, me and Darren, Like it's it's funny like we you would think all we talk about football all the time, and like our relationship, we don't. We talk about I don't. We don't really talk about football like we really we know what it is, like he said, when it comes to it, we know we're putting in the work. We know we show up at practice and are set in the tone and doing all those things. But normal conversation we're talking about music or basketball and just random random stuff. Because the work's done every day. There's no need to talk about Sundays because when they come, we already know we're prepared to go out there and do our things. So you know, it's just it's a unique situation and there's nothing, nothing like I've ever had in my life. Yeah, I feel, like Darren said, leading from a place of authenticity. But really I see that as you're leading from a place of love, and for listeners, for football athletes to really to verbalize that and say that, that's very clear to me that that's what's happening. And I think a lot of people lead from a place of fear, right, a place of fear of being seen or looking weak. And if you lead with love, you can never go wrong, even on the football field. So usually we ask, you know, if if you could go back in time and tell your younger self some advice, what would you tell him? But I want to switch that up, you know, give you make us a self praise segment. You know, what would you think that your younger version of yourself would be most proud of about you today? That's a tough question. Um, I would just say, you know, there's there's a you know, I think authenticity comes to my head. Um, But like the main thing is is like being a leader, Um, you know, that's a part of being authentic, you know, not being somebody as a who rah you know and doesn't back it up. And that's something you know, my dad, My dad said that from a like from an early early age, like, don't be the guy who's barking and not backing it up. So that means for me, like, don't be the one talking and you're not doing the work. You're not showing up every single day, You're not And for me, back in the day, I used to be kind of like that guy. I was loud, I always wanted attention, and but I was you know, I was I was a good player, did things well, whatever, But I knew my teammates didn't respect me the way I wanted to because I was always the guy that was at you know, out till three am and partying. And so now looking at it this, you know from the other side, it's like, you know, I, I'm proud of myself that I've I've really taking the steps to just be the best version of myself every day, not worried about all the little things, and just being you know, being a servant leader, being someone who cares about others and leads by example every single day. So you know, when I reach out to a guy and say, hey, man, I need you to go harder tomorrow and do this, and blah blah blah, and they're responding right back, like, you know, I really appreciate I needed that, Like that's more special to me than anything. So that's probably probably the main thing for me. Then what would you say to somebody out there that struggle glean Maybe they know they know they're struggling, they know they need change, they know they need to surrender or ask for help. What would you say to them if they don't know what to do? Yeah, you know, it's it's it's cliche. But then the number one thing I'll say is you're not alone, you know, because I know at that time, at your lowest, everybody has that and we've all had it, and you think you're the only one on the planet that as low as you are. And there's the crazy thing is there's people out there that are lower than you, And I can't even just thinking back to it, like I can't imagine being at a lower place than I was mentally and physically. So just you know, my main advice would be just you're not alone. You know, there's always somebody going through more than you. There's always help, and there's always going to be somebody out there that you can reach out to. And uh, that's you know, that's what we try to do, you know, give service and help the people out there that need it. That's two weeks in a row that the person sitting in that chair said the exact same thing, that you're not alone. And that's why Darren and I did this, That's why we create this and to be sitting in here in this insane podcast studio Blue Wire Studios at the Wind Hotel like to see the manifestation of it all and it's all to reach as many people as possible to share that exact message that you're not alone. So thanks for sharing that. I appreciate it. As we wrap up, men, we'd like to give love to the people that's been with us the whole time. So if you could give a what we call a comeback story shout out to one person or a few people in your life that I've been with you the whole way. Who would those people be, you know? I definitely I gotta say my family, my mom, dad, little sister, my older brother. Um, I gotta give a big shout out to Rachel, my girlfriend, thought her. I don't know where I would be. Scottie, g Chris, those are my some of the biggest mentors in my life who helped me get sober. Gotta give a big shout out to you, bro. You have no idea how much you've impacted my career and my life, and go on and on and on. I could be here all day, but I've got you know, so many people out there that have helped me, and I'm just glad you know I'm here. Then I could really, you know, admit that and not be worried about myself. You know, that's that's always been my biggest problem. And it's great I can sit here today and realize that there's a bigger plan and a bigger a bigger agenda to everything, and it's not all about men. Bro. We we appreciate who you are man, every single day. I do for sure, how you show up, how you lead, the energy that you bring, and not even trying to be perfect, with just trying to be better than the person that you were yesterday. Man. So thank you for being here and just appreciate your presence everywhere as you go man, And so I appreciate it. Bro. All right, we're out