Michael Vick's Comeback Story

00:00:10 Speaker 1: Welcome back everyone to another episode of Comeback Stories. Got my man Donnie with me here as usual. UM, really excited about the guests we have on the show today. I'm somebody that grew up in Metro Atlanta, Georgia as a kid watching this man terrorized the NFL. Um the most electric player I've ever seen. I was a quarterback growing up. Watching him really inspired me. Remember he had his own shoe. Everybody had the shoes and youth football. Um, this man as a comeback Player of the Year, four time Pro bowler, just trans transformed the quarterback position the game of football. We've got Michael Vick in the building. Thank you Michael for joining us today. Oh Dad, thanks for having me fellas. Yes, it's a pleasure to be on the show. We were long ago with due man. We've been trying to make this happen since like eight from no doubt, man, I appreciate you making the time. As always, we like to start from the jump, like what was life like growing up? From you? The environment that you grew up in, family life, Give us a glimpse into life growing up for you. Yeah, life growing up? It was It was fun, man, it was it was fulfilled with a lot of dreams. Um, I would say, uh, you know, I always felt like you know, as a kid, I tried to separate myself from everybody around me. Um. I didn't grow up with a mom and dad in my household. They were in the household, but it wasn't a functional, fully functional household. And when I say that, I mean, you know, my mom was the rock and my dad kind of did what he wanted to do. Um. He just made sure we were safe and we had food on the table, and so it was some things missing. So I spent a lot of time out in the neighborhood and trying to learn a lot of things about myself. I found myself just kind of growing up fan and it was a super cool experience because I think it got me ready for what I was going to go through in life. And you know, I always sold myself. I would navigate through this, even at a young age old So I would navigate my way through my circumstances and find uh, you know, light at the other end of the tunnel. And you know, I always knew it was something more out there for me. But you know, I think my friends kept me grounded. I think people in my neighborhood helped keep me grounded. They all seen that I had a talent, and I knew I had a talent, and I knew I had something special. I just knew that if I wanted to be different, I had to work at a different and I had to be different, and I had to make good decisions as a kid growing up as a man now who's gone through a lot myself, I always find myself going back to my childhood to see how I approached life, of the perspectives that I had and even painful experiences from back then. Do you have a memory of pain or trauma when you were a kid that maybe affected the way that you approached life. Yeah, growing up, man, there was a lot of childhood trauma. It was a lot of trauma that I really don't even talk about. Just waiting for the right time. I bought a lot of things, and you know, I watched my mom give physically abused as a seven, seven year old, eight year old, you know, pretty much the majority of my my childhood life, and you know, it was traumatizing. I became very resentful. I became very angry towards people in the neighborhood, towards friends, towards family members, because I just couldn't understand why somebody would treat somebody in a certain way that they really loved and had the utmost respectful or should have had the utmost respectful. As I grow old as a man, I kind of look back at some of the things that my dad went through and why. But it was really the big reason why I, you know, I became really sheltered and then trust a lot of people. And you know, when you see people who supposed to being a loving setting disrespecting one another as a young man, only leads to black So always was distraught about that, and uh, you know, it certainly helped my character as a man growing up. It certainly helped me to this day out of way I conduct myself with my family members, with my wife and people around me. Well. Aside from the pain that you may facing your childhood from people that you loved in your house, who would you say were some people that were your teachers growing up that may have taught you good character skills, whether it could be it could be negative as well, but the people that really had the greatest influence on you as a young man, who would you say those people would be? Yeah, ironically, I want to start off with some of my childhood friends that I still have great friendships with to this day. Two of my best friends, one of them names Kevin and one of them names jamal Um. You know, as as young men, they knew what I was going through. They didn't have dads in their household, and uh, you know, this conversation to shift because I don't try to throw any shame when he shaved and my dad, I just called a spade to spade. But you know, those young men as we was growing up, they always encouraged me. And then I met my high school coach, and then I started learning the core values and principles of life and how life was supposed to be or could be. Potentially what I had in front of me my talent um, and then the focus shift into trying to be a better student and trying to hone my skills to get a look at a scholarship, you know, to get a look from a college and get a scholarship, and so all these variables started to pop up. You know, once I met my men so and then my uncle was a big influence of my life. He kind of knew what I was going through and what I was dealing with, but he stayed away from, you know, what was going on here. He was living his life, and so, you know, as a young man man, I was kind of paying attention to a lot vicarious learner. We even had guys in the neighborhood who we called our ogis who used to, you know, make sure that we didn't stand on the corner and try to sell drugs. So I was just taking little bits and pieces of advice from everybody until I felt like I was old enough to, you know, think for myself and think in a plausible fashion. Would you say, amidst all the environment that you grew up and would you say football was and escape for you? Like what was football like early on for you, going through as a young kid, playing through high school and going on to college. Like, take us through that early journey for you. Yeah, football was the outlet, man. And instantly, My boys always laugh at this growing up because I always tell them now, I'd be like, the same things I did to the dudes in the NFL was the same things I did to y'all. You know, we was eight, nine, ten years old in the backyard, and I used to watch football on Saturdays and Sundays, me and my little brother, and then we'd come outside and we try to display everything that we've seen. Charlie ward Due or the rocket Ishmael or the Ward Done, the guys that we had just watched, Steve Youngs and and the Warren Moons of the world were coming outside. We're trying to implement that. We're trying to duplicate everything that we just seen. So, you know, I always took notes. I always watched the game really really close, and so football, you know, especially in part one, and we won three championships. That was amazing. Um. I got to high school and we wasn't the most talented team. Um. You know, I think my first two years five and five, both years, and then my junior year five and five, and then my senior year six and four finally had a winning season. It got over the hump, and you know, it was times where I just kind of felt like I was coming into my own as a player. I remember in my junior year, I made a move or made a couple moves against a team and after the game, my high school coach came to me and he said if you continue to play like that, if you continue to move like that, once you match the mental with the physical, you'll be playing in the National Football League. And that's all I needed to hit because that was my goal. That was my dream. When I was growing up and I felt like we was in poverty stricken neighborhoods and the way we grew up, man, it was like, I know one way out. And as a six year old kid, my grandmother her favorite team was the Washington Redskins now known as the Command That she watched them every Sunday. Faithfully, she didn't have a man in the household with her, but she was an avid football fan. And it was something about the logo on the helmet, it was something about the game that they was playing. It made me want to do it. And then when I was like nine, I found out that you make millions of dollars doing it, and I was sold. I was like, I got to play it for my life, and I know what I want to do, and I'm gonna get my mom out of this situation, and I'm gonna get us out of this situation and we're gonna live happily. Mike, I know you you mentioned that Darren's embodies this whole comeback stories theme that we have, but you definitely do too, so it's the ultimate comeback. I've been following you for well since your freshman year of Virginia Tech. I remember watching one of your first games on ESPN, and it was like the way you were slinging the football and throwing it in your form, just that left handed throw. I've like, I've never seen anything like this, And of course the running was like a whole other story. But I'm just thinking back to some of what you were walking us through with your childhood and following your story. I know your mom had you at seventeen and your grandma. I believe your grandma raised you for the first five years of your life. And obviously you know you've mentioned the stories about your dad just really not not never being around. So when I hear all that, it just allows me or us to connect the dots as to like, well, of course you wouldn't trust like you wouldn't trust like you the two you know, our two parents that were like needing that that attention from that love aren't even there. So's we always ask that question because again, it does help connect the dots as to why we did what we did or why we do what we do. So, man, I just appreciate your sharing that. Yeah, And I say, I'll let just say what I appreciate now as a forty two year old man, is being able to have the conversations with my dad and ask them the tough questions and for him to just be able to open up and say, son, I grew up without the same guidance too, And I have a mom and dad in my household. My grandmother gave my mom gave me to my grandmother, and so now I see a trend and you know, of the years, you know, like I said, it made me a better dad, It made me a better husband, It made me a better man overall because I was able to learn from him. And so now we try to patch that up. I believe in second chances. The things that I've seen. Yeah, it hunted me for so many years, and it hurt so bad to a point where I went to college. I just didn't even feel safe. I wanted to come back home. I was you know a lot of times I'll be out, you know, hanging out with my friends, and you know, as a you know, eighth grader and ninth grader, you know, in high school, and I'm scared. I'm afraid, you know, I'm afraid that something bad might happen, you know, within my household. And I wasn't supposed to have to grow up like that. I took on a lot of responsibility my brother. You know, we are two totally different people. And I got the upmost respect from him, and I love him the depth of my brother. As he grew older, he just became a person that I felt. I was traumatized by those things, even though he handled it different. And we, you know, we always just said, look, we're gonna aspire to do better. You know, we're gonna try to make you know, make things right in life, man, and whatever God gotta installed for us, man, we're gonna be so thankful. But we know one thing. We got football, and we got our minds, and we can lean on that. I hear a lot of forgiveness in that. And Darren had mentioned or you were mentioning resentments and Darren and I come from the world of addiction, and they say that in in addiction, resentments, resentments is the number one offender, where that is the thing that will drive people back out to drinking and using and so um, I hear that forgiveness, and I think that's it's a great message for anybody listening. If you're all jammed up on you know, one of your parents maybe didn't give you something, you have to understand that they were doing the best they can they could with what they had. And understanding that and like you think about like the access to information that we have these days, and the knowledge and from a mindset stuff or meditation or these practices of personal development where they didn't have that, and then you think about how their parents were raised. So it really allows us to bring in a lot more forgiveness. Yeah, no doubt. I try to. I try to work backward sometimes and try to put myself in and their shoes as young parents. My dad was seventeen, my mom was fifteen. My mom was fifteen, and she had my sister, my oldest sister, and I can only imagine what that was like. And then I came at sixteen, and so they moving really really fast, and they kids, you're not even grown when you're twenty one, twenty two years old. Like I looked back and there and you know, like god, no, you don't even consider that grown. You know, you still got so much to learn and so much to um you know, implement into your lifestyle, and so many mores and values that you got to kick around and figure out, like what's the true meaning of life? And and so I don't use that, I know they don't use it as an excuse. Um My mom, she she's always so positive, she's always um, you know, so prophetic, and she speak things into existence, and she's she's always been the rock man and never missed the football game, never missed the parents, never missing We've always been there to represent and my brothers and sisters and so um, you know, just seeing that man just always motivated me. And uh, you know for the simple fact that you know, we we we grew up and we came up in that struggle you know, only made us stronger, walk us through a little bit of then caught the college days. So now you you go to college in Virginia Tech, and you have these trust issues and you roll into a college where um all the coaches are white. Um, you miss being where you're from. You I know what you're also managing just making sure that you're um mentioning your out again, wasn't out of character, like, yeah, let's take us through the college college years because it looked looked pretty fun from the outside, but I'm sure there was plenty more going on. Yeah. Well, first of all, it was a culture shot when I got up their eyes. And now, you know, I'm growing up and dealing with this trust fact of you know, not trusting people, you know, having to learn to trust people and learn to lean on people, and you know, get that advice and that I, as you know, really really needed as a young man. And so I just felt like I just needed to be humble, um, you know, into college with an open mindset of believing and knowing that coach beingm I had my best interests at heart, knowing that Ricky busting my offensive coordinated to had my best interests at heart, and trusting the process, which is not easy. Now. When I went to college, I really had no idea of how to read a defense. So my first three months was hell. And when I say hell, I mean I did not enjoy nothing about what that university had to offer, especially football. And then you got to go to class and be the student. I'm like, I'm here really to play football, and if I had to do it all over again. You know, I would probably be vice versa education and then football that just happened to be very, very talented. And then you know, trusting the process and trusting my coaches, spending time with my offensive coordinated rookie Ricky Buss, who I still have a relationship with to this day. He just kept telling me, keep coming to the meetings, keep studying, keep working hard. One day it's gonna click. And one day, man, I was just sitting in the meeting room with all the veteran players. I was watching film, still not understanding what my meaning for being in that quarterback room was. Was full. I was honestly about this switch positions because I'm like, man, it's not clicking. I can't even complete passes on the scout team. And so four months in, you know, I'm just looking at the board, was looking at some film, and it all clicked from me. It clicked from me. Done. It was one high, two high. It was how to break it down, how to hit them outside of receivers, how to work with two deep coverage, how to work a quarters coverage. And I'm like, I'm going to the scout team and I'm gonna see if this actually works, and I go. And when scout team played a week two weeks in a row the season ended, I had a quarterback battle. It was a junior Dave Meyer. Shout out to Dave. Min had so much respect for him. They made us battle in the spring. They didn't just hand it over to me. So I had to beat out of junior to get that spot. And that entire offseason, Man, what I do remember is this, and I'm gonna shut up. It's studying every night January February all the way to when the workouts in March. I was studying the playbook. I was quizing myself. I wanted to make sure when I stepped through that field in the spring, and I knew I was in for a battle that I will be able to at least sustain mentally. The physical will come out. And that's when I learned, if you know what you're doing, and then you know this, if you know what you're doing in the game of football, then all you gotta do is just let your physical ability, you know, meet you half way. And that's what I did, man, and the rest was history. And you know that year finished third in the has been voting, and the year after that had to make a decision to leave and the dream was accomplished. Still more to do, but the dream was accomplished. Yeah, man, I mean your football career from those days going forward speaks for itself. I want to allow the listeners to put themselves in your shoes, because coming from where you came from the environment you came from, saying like you were the way out, and you were the way out for yourself and a lot of people. I know your ability and your opportunities were such a blessing for you. But did it ever feel like a burden? It did, but it was right after I got drafted, like I felt like the responsibility was not to be a bus right right outter. I got this like it's got from one pressure to another, already accomplished and conquered. College, killed it, and now I'm off to the NFL, where as a whole new set of rules, a whole new set of people, different set of coaches, different teammates, different environment, different city, and I got to continue to rock out. And so you know, it felt like it was one burden and one hurdle after another. But you know I always felt like I still taught him. I was up to the challenge. And you know, as a quarterback, I learned from my cousin ern Brooks, who played at the University of Virginia, that you're only as good as your last game. He had to step it up certain times in his career in order to just even get drafted. Here he lost three games, and they act like the world the scout was falling out. And so I started learning all these things that you had to have as a quarterback. And you know, one was mental toughness, and too was tough skin. And uh, you know, once I learned that, man, and maybe not being a bust of priority and working hard as I can, good things started to happen. But yeah, I played with a lot of stress. I played under a lot of pressure. And I really like that because I felt like it brung out the best in me. Yeah, I mean, without question, man, I mean, like I said, Atlanta was on fire and you were. I mean, if there's an Atlanta legend, I feel like it's you just from I mean, I may be biased, but I feel like I'm just looking at the facts here. I want to I want to on you to take us through what the journey was like from being one of the top guys, somebody that that everybody loved, body looked to, everybody was just in awe of and from there to maybe one of the lowest points of your life having to go and serve a prison sentence. Can you take us from what it was like from going to the top of the game to that moment, what life was going on like inside your head with your family, take us through that. Yeah, I had everything, everything I worked for, most importantly my mom and my sisters, and my family was happy, and that's all like I asked for. But some of those things that I gravitated to as a kid, being out late, hanging out with friends and not hanging out with friends in a bad way. But you know, it was kind of like just rogue out there. Man. It was just like, this is living. As long as I felt like I was safe, my mom trusted that I was safe, and so we got into things that we wasn't supposed to get into the same things that I wasn't imposed to see, did things that I wasn't supposed to do, and I carried some of those traits with me. I carried, you know, some of that baggage with me, you know, into being a grown young adult and you know, feeling like money to buy me out the end, the situation, being at the top of your game, being best in the league, a little bit of arragon started to creep in. And I'm not even an argant person, very humble. Anybody who who met me, even at that time probably would say, oh, man, you know, Mike's a really good dude. He's he's very approaching, the approachaboy. He's very personal. But sometimes we do carry those demons and those skeletons. And I still was carrying some demons and some skeletons at the time, and it would come out, you know, I would do some things that would make the news and make the media, and I'd be like, man, we did that back in the day. Or you don't get in trouble for that, and they don't care about this, or police don't pay attention to that. But when you a role model, when you're you know, a public figure, and you on a different level, you got this whole true to that and you gotta stand by that. And so me been having a hard ad. The hard head made it so made you know, made us, you know, But they say a hard head, make a soft ass, and that's what happened, man, Like, I literally had to found myself in a prison celle like for whatever happened, regardless of you know what happened, how I happened. Now, I woke up in the prison seale one day and still was like that. That's when it hit me, like, your life is really serious and I screwed up a really really good thing. I had a lot of people in my corner who was rooting for me, pulling from me and gave me opportunities to expand my brand being honest, grow as a man. And here I am feeling like the scum of the earth. And that's what I felt like, Honestly, I really felt like the scum of the earth. Like, damn, you blew it man, I'm all, I'm just thinking. And I hope my son be a better man than me. I hope if you make it to the professional ranks, and he dreamed a dream, I hope he'll just screw it up. And so now I'm in a situation thinking like from day one, like I didn't even know what my sentences is gonna be. How do I make this right movement? I just knew it was gonna take a great cast of people in my life to turn it all around, based on my beliefs, based on my surroundings, and honestly, you know, my upbringing. So carrying those demons, that resentment, it came back to bite me. And then I was just thinking about how well, first I've heard the story, maybe this is your bottom. I don't know if this was the exact moment, but you said the drive to turn yourself in was the hardest thing that you ever ever did done to give up your freedom. Yeah. Man, the one thing I always value in life, like I can have nothing right now, I can have this where I'm at in life. Success. You know, I value that so much now because when I didn't have my freedom, the one thing I told myself every day when I was in the prison cell is that as long as I wake up in life, as as long as God wake me up and I got my freedom, I always got a chance to do something. It don't have to be in football, don't have to be in TV. I just got an opportunity to do something with my life. And I would give anything to have my freedom. And so people don't know what it's like until it's taken away from me until you haven't have a God telling you, hey, get out of the way. I'm about to shut this door. Boom the door saying slam, hey, lights out, nine o'clock, lights out, nine o'clock, twenty six years old, lights out, sending the dock fifty people just talking, can't I mean? And so I don't like to live those I do like to live those experiences, especially in my head mentally, because it's therapeutic to talk about it. I don't always get to talk about it, especially in my household with family, with friends, and so I use these platforms that and when these questions come across, I try to elaborate to a point where I'm not trying to scan anybody. I just want everybody to value their freedom and what you have in front of each and every day. And I think some people complain about the things that you really have control over. People always say, well, I ain't got no control over this, Yes, you do. You got control over a lot. And I think, mentally, you know why our focus is in life is always gonna dictate how far you're gonna go. You I remember another thing you had said that you never felt like you could be the guy who had ten million in the bank, but then every everybody else was struggling. Darren and I talk about this all the time, and it's Darren will admittedly talk about it himself. With the work of people pleasing and you know, the feeling of the need that you had to take care of your whole family and all of your friends. How was that? How how did that people pleasing um affect you and some of the decisions that you made. Yeah, I feel like Silviva's remorse is the real thing. Um. You know, I dreamt the dream that and nobody could feel what I felt inside. Um. You know, the things that I witnessed, the things that I learned, UM, the games I played in the high school, the trials and tribulations in high school, UM, when I worked, when I was at Virginia Tech, the feeling of wanting to leave and not wanting to be there, the quarterback battle, the anxiety and my first game ever. That was part of the dream. That was part of the mental makeup of myself and how I was going to become great you know at some point in my life and whatever I was doing, and so you know, I had to dream that dream, and I had to do it on my own. And when I accomplished it, it was like, man, I was looking around at everybody else like I don't think they had a dream. And so now I want to make sure that you know, you can go out in the compash your dream, and you can go out in the commas your dream, and this person can go out and compass they dream. I'm trying to accommodate for I'm trying to make up for everybody. I'm trying to create a dream, like create something, do something ahead, Take this, take that, take this. And what it did in our actuality was it It made everybody complace, It made everybody spoil. It didn't allow them to go out and dream and dream, and you know, it really handicapped them in a lot of different ways. And you know, I said all that to say, you know, when you make get to a level of stardom and when you accomplish what you accomplished in life, and we should shout out to do those are your personal accomplishments. You can't bring everybody with you. And so I'm glad we all had a good time. I think the memories and the way the people around me can look bad and say, you know, you think he could for us, I think they can only be grateful and thankful and hopefully, you know, going through that and watching me accomplished what I accomplished at this point in their lives make them continue to dream a dream because we're all still young. We still got a lot of time to be successful in our own right. And uh, you know, if I'm still working, you know, putting forth my best effort as a sports analyst, then they can continue to do it too, because sometimes we do things that we don't have to do. You got to do it because you love it, because you got you have passion. And I'm just trying to set an example for my kids that you got to work hard because a lot of a couple of them didn't see me Playum, you know, they didn't get to watch my entire NFL career, but they get to see me on TV. They get to see me studying, They get to see me watching the game and working hard to get give some of the best analysts or analysis on Sundays that I can give. Well, I mean, I feel like you're setting the greatest possible example that you could set for a kid in your household and anywhere. By the way that you responded to the cards you were dealt in your life. I want to know, you know, with the perspective ship that you had for gratitude, for your freedom and for little things, how do you feel like that helped you as you transition out of prison and into the next chapter of your career and just life as Michael. Yeah, when I when I came on from prison, man, it was a little book that I had things that I wrote down and I wanted to accomplish. And it was like, you know, right here, book, be more personable, be more open, you know, you know, be more you know, asserted with the media. Don't be so shell to It was a bunch of things that I had came home from prison. One to be better at and you know, posting conservation. I knew I couldn't do it on my own. I knew I needed certain people in my life, man. And then this man named Andy Reid comes into my life. And you're talking about a guy who wasn't afraid to tell me when I was doing wrong, when something wasn't right. He knew what was on my mind, he knew he checked in with me every day to make sure my mental psyche was on point and you can't ask for anything more than that. And when I think about role models, mentors, people who come into your life for a reason, I think I learned in Philadelphia for a reason, and that was just to become a better man. And uh, you know, I grew up a lot um. It was still a lot of expectation. I still had a lot of expectation for myself and certainly going through bankruptcy and so many other distractions and you know, feeling sorry for myself at times. Man, it wasn't it wasn't room for that, you know. It was it was on one and up with and I couldn't have did it without a great supporting cast and obviously my wife. You know, I felt like Andy Reid, rod Goodell, Tony Dungee was there in the first couple of chapters when I came home, and then he kind of let me go. But I learned a lot, man, and I learned to just have the ultimate amount of respectful people and take advice and use correctly. I'm just listening to your story and connecting some of the dots. How you know, early on it was your dad that maybe wasn't there for you, and I'm just visualizing you maybe um the drive up to turn yourself in and then all of a sudden, now you're repeating that cycle for your children. Now you're not going to be there. But I often talk about in the addiction of my past and Darren's past, that it was like this terrible rock bottom that what was absolutely self inflicted that brought us to our knees and we had to figure our shit out and figure out that there's actually more to life. And I see a lot of people going through life half ass or just kind of going through the motions. But this rocked us so hard that we had to we had to ask for help, and so in that we've been able to find a greater purpose through the pain, just like you have, which is ultimately how you then shift the whole generational dysfunction that kind of gets passed from your grandparents to your parents to you. But as you're walking us through that, I just hear the shift that's happened for you. What do you think the story this has comeback story? So what do you think the story you had to stop telling yourself in order to like write your comeback story? Like, what was the mindset or what was the story. They're only the strong to buy, and that's all I could think about um when I first walked into the prison. But I was so broken, like I could not attempt to tell you, like I cried for the first two weeks straight. Like my wife, I had enough to have everything in life, and to have it all. I wouldn't even say it was stripped away from it because I still had everything when I went in, which made it worse. You know. So I'm leaving, you know, I'm leaving my wife, I'm leaving my kids. I'm leaving everything that I worked for over something so sentenced since this, and it was like, man, if I would have just turned the corner a couple of months before this, you know, it might not have never happened. So I'm living with all this regret, and you know, every day I cried, I got stronger and I had to, you know, I had it tough en up. And now you're in an environment where you really can't show any signs of weakness. And so you know, I'm going to a place where people they you know, they really checked you. They're checking you out, and they peeping how you move and how you talk and how you you know, how you look, and thank god, I went to a place where you know, it was a lot of people in there that had a lot of respect for me, and they only wanted the best for me, and we only wanted the best for each other. It was like we all poured together. I was able to we was all able to bring one another together, like, we're gonna get through this, bro, Like, don't nobody's feeling sorry for yourself. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Yeah, this hurt, and we're in a situation where we wish we would have could have did it all over again. But you know what, you don't get mulligans. You don't get duovers in life some time. But we know we got a little stretch. We're gonna get through it. And it's how you're gonna do when you get that second chance and when you come out on the other side. And that's what everybody around me was believing in. I'm still around some knuckleheads and it you know, it's prison manded. You know, you can't sometimes you can't escape the bs. But for the most part, man, we all hit our heads on straight and we was all working towards one come and go frying ourselves up and doing it better. And all those guys came out, most of them, and did it better and did it right. It held true to their promise, including myself. Man, all right, I asked you a million questions about your career on the other side of coming out, But I want to ask you, when was the shift, When was the click for you to want to give back, to want to really be of service, Like I know I read about you with a Michael Victim Center and the vic Family Dream fun Like, what was the moment when you really wanted to take work like that seriously and that became a part of your purpose. Yeah, we're doing a lot of football camp, so ill meet a lot of kids that I can't spend time with. I can only spend a day or two with. And I really get to know these kids. Have a chance to teach them from football on a small scale. But for the most part, these kids ask me more about life than anything. And I'm like, these young men and women are very mature. They really get it. They had really are growing up different and a little faster faster for good reason. And you know, they have purpose. And so you know, the team center that we built at the Boys and Girls Club. You know, that was to give the kids a sanctuary. The Boys and Girls Club was my place that I went to where I can just get away, escape the streets, escape the nonsense that was going on around me, Me and all my boys, and we spent a lot of time in there, and there was a lot of mentors and father figures in there, and people who you know, do your homework when you get in here, you know, you know, pay attention in class, let me see your report card. And they was on as just as hard as our coaches were. And so I always made it a point to give back to the Boys and Girls Club. And then you know, with the Big Family Dream Fund, you know, we just try to serve under the privileged communities and really serve for people in general. Man, whether it's doing a podcast and sharing some information or doing the toy drive or donating some money. We just want to be accessible. We want to help people. Man. We we know what the struggle is like. We know that the struggles is real. We know that sometimes it leads to um and opportune things that you know that that people don't situation that people don't don't don't want to be in and you know, we just want to serve man, and we just want to continue to help people. And that's something I always do to the day our leaders earth here a lot of gratitude in your voice through your words. What are you most grateful for today? I'm most grateful for family, man, the fact that I'm here in my house. My family's not broken. There's a lot of up and down strategy and triple relations over the years. But always for half of my family. Always for hard to do the right things and make the right decisions. Um, even as when it's it's not the easiest, um we even when it's temptation everywhere, even when the devil is working. And so for me to be happy in my household each and every day, being able to teach my kids valuable lessons and valuable lessons and for me to learn from them as well. Like I try to approach our house with a you know, approach our household with an open mind. Um. Then I got a twenty year old son, I got an eighteen ye old daughter, fifteen year old daughter, and in the five year old son, and you know, the abilities to you know, come together and convey our messages and do it the right way. Sometimes somebody just having a bad day. Somebody sometimes somebody's not in a good mood, and you got to respect this space. I'm learning a lot about myself and I'm learning a lot about them, and I think just being able to be with them every day, use that each one teach one method. I feel like we're growing. And I hope that you know, one day they look back and and they have a lot of respect for me and the things that I try to do for them, and the words that I tried, you know, to to help them understand or instill in them, or the messages that I tried to instill in them. I should say, Um, just a great group, man, And h include my wife man, just being that rocking being a person who we can all lean on and count on. And you know, I tell you what, she's a lot smarter than me, and without her, I probably wouldn't be talking to y'all right now, Well, man, talking about gratitude. We're grateful for you. I'm grateful for you. One of the most amazing football players I've ever seen. But I feel like that pales in comparison to the example that you set. The way that you responded to the adversity in your life and the example that you're setting for your kids and kids everywhere that they don't have to be perfect to live a meaningful purpose field life. I appreciate you and everything that you stand for, man, and vice versas to you guys. An example that y'all setting in terms of this platform and being able to open up and talk about things that's sort of uncomfortable. And we've been through some uncomfortable things. We all hit rock bottom right and we were on the way up, and we'll never forget what that feel like. And it's gonna be a lot of people that's gonna come out to us who are gonna need some advice and gonna watch this podcast, gonna watch this platform and say, hey, man, they can do what we can do it too. And that's what it's all about, man, It's all about that optimism and that's what y'all bringing to the table. And so a lot of respect for you guys, and I'm so glad we had a chance to make this happen. If this is the conclusion of an in view, I'm not ready to go yet, but if you guys are, it's all good. Before I well before I acknowledge, ask you one more question, what would you say to somebody that knows they're stuck, struggling, or maybe they're up against a challenge, a sentence like what what? What advice would you give to that person? Yeah, I would just say, you know, your belief is everything. I know when I was at my lord's points in life, you know, I got down on my knees and prayed. And sometimes God don't ask you or prayer in a day, in a week, in a month, not even in a year. But if you stay persistent and you believe in what you're asking your Lord and save you for, at some point it's gonna become crystal clear for you. And so I would say, just you know, as Clee says it sound, never give up, never give up. Always believe in yourself, even when people around you don't believe, even when you don't believe that you can do it. It's been plenty of times I walked into the line of Scrimm is believing and I can't. This player is not gonna working. You know what? It worked when plenty of times when we was game planning and on Tuesdays, game plan came in from in the like man, there's a couple of players I want to take out. These are the players that score, you know, those are the players that turn into big players. You know, it's been plenty of times where you know, I felt like you know, um, you know my life was in die straits, and you know I had to look at everything around me and say, you know what, I'm still blessed. Man, I'm still living. So as long as you got an opportunity freedom, you've got to change. And I see, I love that. I hear a lot of yes, never give up. But then there's also a level of faith or I think you even said it earlier, trusting the process and that God's timing may be slow, but He's never late. And that's where we have to kind of surrender, right, surrender to his will and not our will. This is something that we I remind myself of often because if I try to instill mine, you know, it doesn't always work out so well. In fact, my will ended up ended up with me in rehab, so I know that, like my will doesn't work very well. But I love your words. I love Darren took my words with just like on the field, accolades or lights out and the way you played with so electric but the off the field stuff and how you've turned your pain and the struggles into a purpose. I mean, this is this is what inspires me the most. So I just want to acknowledge you for how you're showing up and how you turn that pain and the mess into a message. I mean, you're our people, man, you embody this comeback stories. So we're just grateful to have you on here. Yep, no doubt, Thank you man, thanks for having me. And uh, this is an amazing conversation. Like I said, it's it's very therapeutic. I can't just open up and talk to my kids and talk to friends, talk to my wife about some of the things that I do deal with, you know, on a regular basis, because I lived that and sometimes I draw back on experiences and sometimes I thought might pop in my head. I might see something that might trigger is something that you know, I might have seen when I was away, or it might have seen when I was a kid, and you know, so you know, we all need people to talk to. I will say that, and I'm just glad I got enough people in my life that I can pick up the phone and call if I'm disturbed and open up and let it go, and I might share a tail, I might cry, but I get off that phone feeling a lot better. Yeah. Shoot, I mean that's true strength. I feel like today, Um yea even cry. I cried. I cried a few weeks ago, and I was for a while, I was like, I was, I was really asking to like, I don't know why I can't cry, something blocking me, Like what's going on? And I cried, um and I was just like man, like I was, I was so grateful, and She's like, it's just came a long way from when I was a kid growing up. It's just like, you don't show none of that, none of them tears. We don't care about how you feeling, Like, get out of here with that. That's not strength, But really it strength is putting ourselves out there and showing people this is who I truly am, this is what I'm really feeling. So we appreciate you willing to get vulnerable with us, man, no doubt, no doubt, Thank you, man, appreciate it. We always talk about vulnerability is the key, the pathway to connection, and I think that's what Darren's story, my story, your story and that's why we're connected here and so many people are going to be blessed and benefited from hearing your story. Um, it's an honor man. We appreciate you, no doubt true. Comeback Stories, Baby, represent up? All right out peace? What's up? Comeback stories family? It's Donnie dropping in here. So did you know that Darren and E's relationships started by me being his personal development, mindfulness and mindset coach. I want to let you know about both my one on one coaching program, The Shift and my group Mastermind Elevate your Purpose. These coaching programs are specifically designed for people who are ready to take the next step in their purpose and level up their career, personal finances, and have more connected, deep and meaningful relationships. My gift and part of my purpose is to help others take that next step and leveling up their lives so that they can have a greater impact on the lives of others, create success that sustainable yet evolves and grows, and help build a legacy that will outlive your life. If this is calling you, just go to Donnie Starkins dot com and apply for either one of my programs.