Mike Bayer’s Comeback Story - Relentless Honesty, Awareness, and Asking For The Right Kind of Help

Mike Bayer shares his story of growing up and struggling with his sexuality, and tells how that pain led to a meth addiction that almost destroyed his life. Learn how Mike realized the source of his pain and how he turned his story into a platform for helping thousands of people overcome their addictions and live more fulfilling lives.

• The theme of any great change is relentless honesty.
• Everyone has a different upbringing and we all have a different relationship with our upbringing. Mike grew up playing basketball and from the outside it looked like everything was going well but he never felt okay with his life. He started doing drugs at a young age largely due in part to being gay but being unable to admit it.
• Shame is a cloak of toxicity that eventually seeps into all areas of your life. Growing up was only okay when Mike was stoned, and doing drugs became a slippery slope into misery and addiction.
• For athletes, teachers are usually coaches. Mike didn’t have any great mentors when it came to athletics. It wasn’t until Mike’s parents sent him to therapy when he was younger where he felt comfortable enough to admit to someone that he was gay.
• The issue wasn’t so much that Mike was gay and accepting that, it was an issue of not feeling good enough to be accepted by his peers. Therapy is what allowed him to connect the dots and identify where the pain was coming from.
• Therapy is like physical exercise. When you want to get deeper into why you feel a particular way, therapy is a way to put in the work.
• Mike’s low point was simple. After suffering for months from a brutal meth addiction, he looked in the mirror and realized that he was sick and tired of being a loser. He had no purpose and was on a downward trajectory that wasn’t going to change unless he changed it.
• Mike shares the story of his sugar momma and the crazy experiences he had when he was under the influence.
• Awareness is the key to change. When it comes to hitting bottom, you can always go a little deeper. Mike found himself going back to drugs the day after he would throw them away in the effort to quit. Mike’s awareness and realization was that he was not the man he was supposed to be.
• We have to own our lives and take ownership for where we are right now and the actions we took to get us here.
• Mike got sober at 22 and he never thought he would be a person who could help other people to do the same thing. After being six months sober, Mike started working in treatment while also working other side jobs and did whatever he could to get into the field of counseling. He went from being a counselor to doing interventions and the work continued to evolve.
• According to Mike, an attitude of gratitude keeps away the bad attitude. Mike is incredibly grateful for the life that he has today because he never thought that his life would be the way it is now.
• If Mike could send a message to his younger self, he would essentially tell himself that a person has to make a choice to be better and to always stay coachable. If you’re going to be a coach you have to be able to listen. People aren’t going to remember what you say to them, they are going to remember how you made them feel.
• Donny and Darren tell the origin story of the Comeback Stories podcast and how their friendship developed.
• Asking for help is a transaction. If you ask for help, you have to be willing to do what it takes when you receive that help.
• Mike uses the SPHERES acronym to help identify which area of a person’s life needs work and what type of help they should be asking for. To use it, you need to rate your Social Life, Personal, Health, Employment, Relationships, Education, and Spiritual Development.
• We all have blind spots and assessments are a great way to figure out the root cause of an issue.
• Knowing your purpose helps you eliminate confusion. If you’re not sure in the moment, look for your purpose and redefine it if you have to.
• Everything is one decision away from what we want. Most of the decisions we make each day are made on autopilot but there are also decisions that we can control that can significantly improve our lives. There is usually a single decision you can make everyday that can change things for the better.
• Life is better when we show up being who we truly are. That way we don’t second guess who we are and are just content in the moment.
• Mike’s comeback shoutout goes to his first sponsor Mark Hertz.

Mentioned in this Episode:

coachmikebayer.com