Release and Rekindle

00:00:04 Speaker 1: Comeback Stories is a production of Inflection Network and I Heeart Radio. What's going on? Everyone? Is Darren Waller tied in from the New York Giants, excited to welcome you guys back to another episode of Comeback Stories. I'm here with my boy, my brother, my man Donnie. Donnie, how are you doing today, Bro? I'm doing well. Welcome everyone. Yeah, it's great to be here, great to be carrying the message of recovery, healing, transformation, and that's exactly what we're gonna do today on our episode with our guest Trent Shelton, who is actually coming back for a round two. Trent, how you doing? My man? Man? I'm doing good, you know. Thanks for having me, Donnie and Darren, And it's always great to come back, you know, to a podcast. So I'm grateful for you guys having me since the last episode. There's been a lot of adversity, a lot of pain, a lot of change, a lot of loss in your life. So I think I'll ask you the same question I just asked you, but maybe with a little bit more sincerity of how are you doing? I'm good in this current moment. It's been a tough season for me. I'm over the last few years, but you know, I've been able to battle a lot of things mentally, spiritually, and it's laying my relationship closer to God even even more, it's allowed me to sit down with this injury and be able to connect and focus on the things that really matter. So I would say, even in this storm, it's definitely helped me find just goodness in my life and focus on the things that truly matter. What do you feel like matters that maybe didn't matter before? Yeah, just man, just presence. Like you know, my family obviously matter before, but just even you know, losing my mother and then my grandmother, all these things that happened, it just made me realize, like, you know, we don't have forever. You know, forever comes with an expiration dating. So it's made me sit down and be able to enjoy the small things and things that really matter, the memories that could be made, whether it's playing outside with my key kids, are going to a trip, are just doing the most random things that mean everything. Because when I look back on my life, it's those moments that were so simple. I call it simple happiness that I missed so much. With those I can't create it no more so that simple happiness buck has bit me, and I'm like super excited about creating simple moments that mean everything. I feel like you have the perspective to be able to enjoy the simple moments that come from an adverse situation like this, because a lot of people may not know that you've been facing pretty substantial adversity much of your life. Could you take us through some of your childhood and some of the adversity that you faced early on for people that haven't heard your story, Yeah, for sure, just childhood wise. You know, my child was pretty good. I grew up in Louisiana, the youngest of two older brothers. My biggest adversity was the thing of like having two older brothers and always have this success guilt where it's like, man, the attension is all on me, But those guys helped me become who I was. Like it was always met versus then playing football and basketball, but it was always that thing of like, man, I don't want all the attention, And I think honestly that instilled a fear of success for me my whole entire life, even now working through this, because it's like, man, if I'm successful like what am I gonna lose? Are people are gonna be jealous? Or all these things, And so I had to work through that limited belief and my biggest adversity with sports man after college, you know, going to NFL as a free agent and bouncing around getting cut eight or nine times, being very unsure of my situation, you know, day to day, you know, coming off the practice field and getting released and like what I'm gonna do now? So that was tough, and in that process me just having a son, Like how I'm going to provide for my son? Who am I without this sport? So that was the hardest thing in my life, trying to find an identity outside of something that's been my identity in my whole life. I'd like to ask real quick on the success guild thing, just from a personal level, when you said those two words, it really resonated with me on a lot of levels. Just I had that same thing growing up and had a brother a year and a half older than me, who achieved a ton of success, like more than most athletically, let's say, but maybe compared to me, it wasn't as successful, And so often times I would find myself very uncomfortable receiving that acknowledgement. And I've seen that show up in my life later on, where when I am acknowledged, often want to diminish or dim my light, if you will. So I'm curious for you, like, how have you seen that show up for you later? And what was some of the work you did to release that old story? Yeah? Man, I think even right now, just being totally transparent, I'm still working through that because all the compliments that I get are you helped me do this, or you help me do that, and all the accolades, which really doesn't do anything for me. And I've always kind of downplayed it and pushed it away, and I realize that in my mind that really helped me this. I was like, man, I'm not being grateful for the blessings God gave me, you know what I mean? Like I should be able to under those blessings and feel good about it because the people in my life that are truly happy for me, they're going to be happy for my success, happy for my happiness. And I realized that their own people, yeah, they might have a problem with it, and that those aren't my people. And so I've learned to really acknowledge it. I've learned to accept it, and it's really helped me because I felt like in me not accepting the recognition or whatever it may be, it was almost like my purpose and my gift became a burden in a sense, and I was like, I never wanted that to be a thing. So I acknowledge it, but always pointed back to God as the reason of who I am and the purpose he ask for my life, and that's really helped me. But to be totally transparent something I struggle with to this day. I want to stay on what you said about people thanking you for what you've done for them. I want to ask you, do you feel like it's easy to slip into like being so caught up in helping other people that sometimes when it's time to maybe help yourself, that it may be a little difficult Because I find myself in that area. Sometimes I'm like people of addiction, like I do so much for them, I speak so much into the lives of people with mental health awareness, and I'm, you know, kind of like out here on the front lines of it. But then sometimes it's like when it comes to my own things, sometimes I feel like I kind of struggle. Do you feel that way at all? A thousand percent man? And this was exposed to me. It was I don't know who it was and said this. It might have been like Andy Mini or something like that. But he had said in a tweet that like he has talked about God so much to other people that he's forgetting to actually talk to God for himself. And that resonated me, like on a spiritual level, but also on the personal level. It's like, Yeah, I'm doing all these things for everybody else, I'm bringing everybody else, I'm making sure everybody else's straight, and I'm not giving that to myself, right And so I'm kind of the season right now, and it seems like a selfish season, but it's not as more self aware as just like being my napologetically mine, apologetic season where I'm really focusing on me so I can be the best meet for the world, for the people who follow me, for my family, and making sure that I'm giving to myself what I'm trying to instill in them. So it's a process, man, that I'm working through. But I realized when I didn't do that, my cup was super empty and I was running on fumes. So I think it's important to sit back and relax, have time to disconnect for yourself. And so for me that's early in the morning, late at night. I call it reflection therapy to be able to give myself in my life what I need. Wow, I think that's amazing, and I'm this just reaffirms why Darren and I wanted to start this podcast where they may see two or three individuals up here talking that ultimately are preaching these things and teaching these things. And I think you get like sixty million listeners every week that are listening to you do your thing. But I think it's important to remember that we are as teacher or coaches, that we are still tripping over the same things that we're teaching all the time, Like we are in this work with you every single day. Absolutely. I mean, once you stop being a student, then you stop learning. You know, even if I'm teaching, I tell people all the time and they say like, how did you know I'm going through this? And I was like, nah, I'm out of ten either I've been through it or I'm going through it right now. I'm just sharing my experience with it. And so I never positioned myself as an expert, right, I'm an expert to this expert that my expertise is just going through this progression of life. And I'm sharing my journey with you. Yes, and some things I might know a little bit more about, but I'm sharing and being an open book. And I think that's what you know you talked about the sixty million. I think that's what it's allowed me to be successful is I'm not at the mountaintop telling you how to get up here, right, even if I've been up there, cool, but I'm like back down this struggle with you. And so even over the last few years, me being open and sharing my journey of like this is what I'm dealing with, this is what I'm going through, but also this is how I'm getting through it in real time. And I know that builds a connection with those that follow you, those that watch you, because it's like we're inspired by perfection, but we're impacted through truth, through purpose, through progressions. So I'm always trying to show people like, yeah, this is what I'm going through right now, and this time I'm getting through it no doubt. Man. There's there's three students that are on this conversation right now, that's for sure. But I want to ask you two guys, because I know you guys could be teachers on this one subject. I know both of you guys had to reach a point where it was a transformation of your identity from leaving your sports and the pain that that caused. I know there are a lot of people out there that may have certain dreams or see themselves doing certain things, and for some reason or another, they have to go into a different direction, and that separation is tough, That transition is tough. Can you speak to some of the emotions that come at and what it looked like practically to kind of cut your way through everything that may have been trying to hold you right where you were. That's the hardest journey that I faced, for sure, is trying to understand who I am without that identity put on my name right and it's just very, very hard. And you know, as an athlete, I mean I talked to athletes all the time, and that's some of the things that I help work through. It is like, man, there's more to your life, and we hear these things, but sometimes we don't want it to be more to our life. I know I didn't at that time. Simply put it. For me, it came with me facing my reality first, right, My reality is that this is over. My reality is I don't even love it no more. My reality is I'm just in it because I don't know what else to do in my life, and so there has to be another chapter. And my biggest fear man was not having another chapter to my life outside of this, and so I faced that reality. I dealt with it. Always say you'll never win your war by running from your battle. So that was hard. And then after I faced my reality to release some things in my life, you know, and whatever that looked like at the time, maybe it was my circle, maybe it was the identity, and I had to burn those bridges where I knew I couldn't go back. I had to move forward. The last part of the process is the repair process. And you know, we have these boys in our life, but we have to be able to repair. And repair to me means putting the strength back into a weakness. And that was a very hard process. But I ended up finding my purpose. I said, okay, well, what qualities can I take from this thing that I spend so much of my life on and apply this to my real life perseverance, endurance and how to deal with adversity, hard work, all the things that we learn as athletes. And I say, you know what, I'm gonna put this into my current work. And at first, you know, it wasn't nothing happening, right, It wasn't like it was an external validation that this is it for your life. But I always tell people this and simply put for me, because I get this question a lot, like how did you know like this transition was right for you? And the best way I can put it is it was the peace in the midst of uncertainty, in the midst of chaos in my soul that I knew this was what I was created to do, even though there was no external like validation of it. Internally, I knew that this is what I was created to do. And once I really locked into that and stripped away, and I'm still stripping away, like I still miss sports. I still that's why I tore my achilles now thinking I'm an athlete still and trying to play my nephew outside in basketball in that rupture, but I'm still working through that process. But now I realized that man, you know there is something more to my life because I listened to that piece and not necessarily my circumstances at that time. Man, hearing your shift into this other identity, into this other life, it just it gets me thinking about how rare that is and how many people don't find a way out. And for me, the transformation happened because of an addiction and because my life was so painful, so self destruct hurting so many other people that I had to surrender. But that's not where like this new identity and this new purpose came from for me, Like I've heard your quote say your transparency leads to transformation, And that was the moment. It was like progressing and gaining these spiritual tools, becoming a yoga teacher, becoming a coach, and then ultimately sharing my story, sharing the pain, sharing the ship. That was the moment that I shared that at this event, like everything changed for me. But I'm so grateful that I was able to find a way out because I work with and talk to so many people that haven't found a way out or never found a way out and ultimately ended their lives through addiction or mental health or suicide because of it. So for me to be sitting on here with you two and just knowing you're doing all the same work. You didn't have the addiction. You found a way and kind of had that awareness and courage to step into it. But it's it's been the greatest gift and now to be able to teach that back to athletes like I mean, Darren was one of the first ones that actually completely stepped totally into this, and you know, he was doing music and you know now the podcast and his foundation and he has all these other things. So football is just a platform to reach people, you know, and I'm speaking for him right now, but it's so much bigger than that. And all you gotta do is just look at what number he is this year for the New York Football Giants, and that says everything. Yeah, that's major. And I wanted to ask even Darren on this like question because I'm just curious, like, which are transition because I noticed that about you and I love it how you know, you have so many different fascets that you're like, you know, yes, I'm a football player, cool, but you know, these are the things that I care about. Why while I have this platform, I'm going to push these things like is it tough doing that? You know, like is it ever from the fans like oh, like you should be focused on this or that, or you should be a football player because I know the box, Like how how do you handle that part of it? I'm just curious. Uh yeah, there there is that that is a reality. So if we look at just like music, for example, I've been doing music since I got suspended from the league for over a year in twenty seventeen, I was really locking it on music and I put an album out when I was in Oakland and twenty nineteen, and that was when I really started taking off and making a name for myself and my performance on the field, and I was playing every game and doing well, and people were like, oh, the music is the music is dope, Like they're playing in the stadium, Like nobody was really saying anything. You get a couple of people that I was like, Oh, I'll stick football, like but that that's that is what it is. But this past season, I was putting out videos and stuff like that that I had filmed in the summer before training camp even started, and I think I put one out I'd already scheduled to put it out like on a Friday, and it was after we had played like a Thursday game and didn't win the game and I had been injured, and some people were like, what is this, Like you don't care about the game, you don't care about the craft, and and so that that kind of became a theme, and I think like people kind of like picked up on that and like it just became like a cool thing to do, and it's and it's tough, you know. So it's like, you know, people look at your performance and it's like, if you're performing to my liking and entertaining me to the level that I would like, I'm gonna let you live. I'm'na let you do what you do. But if you're not, nah, we need to we need to stick to your day job. And you know, people don't really know that I'm not doing the music to be popular or to have this brand. Like this is just me doing something that I love to do, I would do for free, I would do if I never posted it again. And it's just a great balance from everything that football demands, you know. And so I've received that, I've received that with a lot of things. And you got to kind of learn to focus in and be like a lot of these people are came in because of the performance. Some people are here for me, but some people are here for the performance. If the performance isn't always there because I'm an imperfect human being, it's not always going to be that way. You got to risk being able to lose some of that because that's not the deep, affectionate, unconditional love that we long for. That's and we have to be able to find ways to differentiate from that. But that's not to say it wasn't like a little bit, uh stung a little bit, you know, because these are people that were your fans and support you and all that. But it's all it's all learning, it's all recognizing like, Okay, this is what it is. But I can't let it deter me from doing what I feel called to do because I feel like I have a voice in this music. I feel like I have a voice in these activities that I do. I'm not just out here putting out a whole bunch of nonsense, you know. I feel like I have something to say and I want to communicate it in the way that I want to communicate it. But also, at the same time, everything that I do like Donnia quote you all say that I love is how you do something, is how you do everything. And so I'm going to be excellent and everything that I do and not short one area to put more time and effort into another, and just stand all on my convictions and feel good about what I see when I look in the mirror. And because I spent way too much of my life worrying about what other people's opinions were of me, Wow, there's a lot there, a couple things they're and touched on. Well when I hear you cleared so clearly articulate how you stay focused, how you find your center, Like that ship doesn't happen overnight, and it doesn't it doesn't come with a ton of work and discipline and focus and whatever the practices are that you've had and continue to continue to level up to find those practices right to be able to eliminate the noise and yeah, but the dedication that you've had to find that and a lot of it is also getting to the core wound of this like not enough, not black enough, different story, right, And I wanted to actually segue that into Trent's story because I think Trent I've heard you say before that the first time that you ever felt like you weren't enough was when you got drafted, right, yeah, absolutely, yeah. Well I wasn't. I wasn't traffic right, So I was waiting two days. I was supposed to fifty or sixth round, but it didn't happen. And that was the first moment of my life where you know, obviously I was telling everybody I was good, I was okay, I'm not worried about it, but deep down inside I was hurt. I was like, man, like, am I not good enough? Like you know, I put up the numbers, like I ran when I was supposed to run, Like what's up? And at that moment, I was like, man, maybe I'm not cut out for this. And I went through a little bit of what I now know like a small form of depression until my phone rang. You know, it's a hot, pretty free agent, and then that that shift happened. Even going in there, you know, you're starting off the bottom of the totem pole. So even then I'm like, man, like, am I even supposed to be here? It's like the first time in my life where I questioned my skills, my ability and just myself in general. How dark did that get? Like what was the bottom or the darkest place? That not enough story or that maybe just the transition if you even fast forward to when you knew football wasn't going to be a reality, Like where did you go? Yeah? So I went to the things that I probably shouldn't have went to, you know. I went to the drugs, alcohol, the club and all the things that numbed it, you know what I mean. And I was saying that was self care, right, that was my thing. I'm just taking care of myself. Right, that's the self care that I thought was self care at the time, But really it was me running from my reality at the time. And my lowest point had to be two thousand and nine. And you know I've told this story before, but you know I was with the Seahawks. They released me and I was back home in Dallas. They called me and say, hey, like, we want you to come up here. So I rushed home for Dallas to full Worth was by forty five minute drift through some stuff in the suitcase. You know, I'm on Facebook at the time to everybody, I'm going back. You know, I'll tell my parents. Everybody's happy I get to the airport, I can laugh about it. Now. I wasn't laughing at but I can get to the airport, and I'll get to the airport and you know that two h six number carts and I'm like it's weird. Okay, hey, It's like have you left yet? And I was like nah, And I was like, well, we have the plans on things like don't leave, like we'll bring you back later, and they never brought me back. So at that moment, I was like, like, I was so hurt, and I was like, man, you know, I felt like that door had shut. I didn't love the game anymore anything like that, and I just really felt like, I mean, you know what, I'm just gonna live my life. I'm gonna just do the things that I know making me feel good. And I ran to those things, and obviously that just feel avoid temporarily and and do with me in a deeper depression. What we suppressed turns into depression. Right, That's another one of your lines. I mean, there's a lot of stuff as I'm revisiting our conversation and just how much First I want to just Rea Chnology for how much of inspiration you've been in my life and always showing up and then watching you on stage live, like there's a lot of motivational speakers out there, but trends like on a whole nother level in addition to the level of authenticity just his stage presence and then what he's talking about is I mean, you've always just spoken right right straight to my heart. So thank you for that, man, I appreciate it. Man. I want to enlighten the people about what you talked about on our first conversation was the dark work. I don't think people may know about that or have an adequate definition of what that is. Could you explain that to everybody else listening. Yeah, it's just the work that you're doing, the dark It's that work that doesn't get celebrated, you know, the athlete. I'm telling this to my son we worked out this morning in the garage. I'm like, this is the work that sucks, right, but you fall in love with this work because this is the work that when you show up on the field and you're doing the thing, people call you lucky, but they don't know that you're putting this dark work over time. And so whether it's sports or whether it's mentally it's the prayers, to getting into your word. It's the reading the books and things that aren't sexy that nobody sees. It's to working on your craft. It's being addicted to the mastery right in your craft and really putting your best foot forward with music, whatever it may be. And nobody sees that process. But then those are the things that really help you shine in the light, right, Those are the things that people celebrate you for, and those are things that people recognize you for. So the dark work isn't sexy. Always say progression is an ugly role that leads to a beautiful place. So I get this all the time, bro, Like they're like, oh man, you're you're overnight success. It's like what, because I've been doing this since two thousand and nine, Like go look at the dark work of the videos on YouTube. I'm like, ah, that's terrible, But I was still proud of myself for stepping into that moment. So that dark workman, is the things that aren't celebrated, but it's the reason that people will celebrate you. You know maybe in two or three years or a year when that harvest actually comes from the seat that you plan it. Yeah, because there's so many in this world today, I feel like dark work bankrupts this idea of a pain free, completely comfortable, obstacle free experience that we all want, you know, like no matter you know, even today, Like with the discipline and practice I have in place, sometimes I wish results and certain things would come faster than they do. It's just kind of in us as human beings. But I love that term and that idea because if we could get that into young people earlier on, like this pain, this suffering isn't breaking you, it's not gonna keep you down. It's actually gonna help you build. It's actually gonna help lay a foundation for anything that you're going to try to do, anything that you any challenge you may come across. If we could just circulate that message, I feel like that could go a long way, more than anything else you may explain. Just like, hey, when you get to something hard, go through it, stick with it, embrace because one day you're going to look back on it and be grateful for it, as opposed to run from it or numb from it. It's a big deal because it's it's all across my story. I'm I'm a drug addict. And an alcoholic in recovery because my addiction form because I didn't want to feel things like That's really the basis behind my using was I just don't want to go through that. I don't want to feel this, get rid of this as soon as possible. I don't want to have to sit with it and deal with it and work through it. And that's why I feel like it's just the messaging behind that is so universal. And I had to get you to speak on that for a couple of minutes. For sure, Man, I appreciate that. And you said that word suffering, like I think suffering comes with a negative thing, Like yes, there's I would say, choose you're suffering. There is a negative suffering that I like to say use it comes from regret because you look back and like, man, I wish I would have But there's a positive suffering, right, Suffering builds perseverance, building are builds faith. You know, we have to go through our suffering, you know, in order to get to certain things in our life. And so I've been trying to even with myself and my kids and the athletes I'm around are just people in general, Like you know, there's certain things that you've got to go through to be able to get to the thing that you want. So this is a part of it. So enjoy it, you know what I mean. Celebrated And you know, sometimes it's harbor people to accept that. But you know, I think when they look back and realize, like, oh, this is the sacrifice I got to make in order to get this, and they realize, you know, like this is a part of the process in order to be great, it makes me think of another trend Shelton quote, that's the only way to harbor true strength is to conquer the pain at its deepest level. And I'd love to ask you, I can't imagine any more pain than the loss of a parent, Like what has that been? Like what is the dark work and the grief and how is that grief that grieving process continuing to unfold as you really lean into that pain. Yeah, that's definitely the hardest thing ever, you know, losing mom, and especially for me, Mom was, you know, my biggest supporter. I always give her credit my dad to my dad is phenomenal, but Mom was the was the one bringing me with her to conferences and like instilling this in me. And I even know that, you know, at such a young age, and so seeing her go through her suffering, you know, and the thing that I tell people, like what really changed it for me. You know, when you see man, it's tough. When you see your mom, you know, for six months, you know, in hospice, and she's still keeping faith. Like she had brain cancer, she had breastcast she had liver cancer, and she's still keeping her faith. And it's like this is a different type of faith that I've never seen. She's still thinking God even when she's dying. And the day that she passed, you know, I gotta call at four a m. In the morning, I already knew what it was. My dad called me and I went over there and I had just seen her two days before that, and she had her hardest day, like she was struggling to breathe everything, Like I thought I was gonna lose her in that moment. And when I went over there after she passed, just looked at so much at peace. And the thing that I told my mom on that Friday before she passed, I said, Mom, you're healing, you know, I mean, it's okay, You're healing. You don't have to fight like you're healing. It's good. And she left that Saturday night early Sunday morning. And when you see somebody you know with a body bag and put it in the you know, the hearse is just reality. And so I made my mom this promise to take care of everybody, and I put that burden on myself and I wasn't even allowing myself to heal because I was making sure everybody else was okay. And it got to a point, man, where I was looking in the mirror one day and this is what really turned I call it my grief into my greatness. And there's days, bro, even today, like when I'm about being on stage, let me text my mom, or fourth of July, like I'm like, dang, it's the reality is she's not here, but she's still here more than ever. And I remember, probably a year after she passed, Man, I was in the bathroom and I remember looking in the mirror and I was at a very very very low point, very low point. Nobody wouldn't know because I was smiling for the camera, you know, but I was really dying behind the scenes, as I say, and I just had this stop and think. I thought about my kids, and I said, man passed away. I wouldn't want to be the reason why my kids gave up. I wouldn't want to be the reason why they lived in the depression. I wouldn't want to be the reason why they stopped going hard like. I wouldn't want to be the reason why they went harder. You know what I mean, Do it for daddy, you know what I mean. Let's go. And I sat there and I said, man, my mom was such like she worried about everything, bro. Like she would call me like like I pray for you you to take off the trash, are you okay? Like she worried about everything. So I said, I know my mom is worrying right now if she can happen, you know, happen to be able to see this all right. She's worrying. She's sad because her baby boy and even her boys like they're giving up. And at that moment, I said, man, I felt these words, and I don't know if it's true. It's certain, I said my mother, Mom, I know you can't rest in peace, Suti, I'm living in peace. And that switched everything for me. I said, now is the moment where yes, I'm gonna go through my hard times with grief, but I'm gonna make sure she stays alive forever. I'm gonna make sure that legacy is carried on. I'm gonna make sure generations have we have generational healing, generational health, you know. I mean, I'm gonna make sure of that because she ran this race of life and I refuse to allow that race to be in vain. I need to do my part. So I got the baton and at that moment it changed everything for me, just like that, And now the tears are happy instead of sad tears. Wow, thank you for sharing that. I mean, I'm thinking about as you walked us through that and hearing how she used to worry about everything. But really, at the end, what most people are so worried about dying, there was this unshakable faith where she was mirror and mirroring and modeling that unwavering faith when she was about to leave this earth. So to be able to plant that seed for you. And yeah, the way that you turn around things and maybe this is something that you've talked about before. Maybe you can touch on this those those three questions that you'll you'll ask maybe if you're needing, if you're stuck or you're needing a perspective shift with how am I going to respond? What does this mean to you? Or what does this mean to me? And then how am I going to use it? And then maybe touch on that last piece where you say, instead of saying what does this mean, it's what is this going to mean? So maybe you can touch on that and you can articulate it a lot better than I can. But I'd love to hear about it. Now. That's it, man. You know I'll talk a lot about and if anybody can me a title, I always say, I really help people like shift their perspective right from their prison to their power. I think a perspective is everything in life. Right. We can look at a thing and we can see the worst in it or we can see the best in it. And I've been living by these words because of that, and it's a simple phrase that helps me shift, and the words are it could be worse, it will get better. So I always tell myself that when I'm going through a hard time, it could be worse, which it could, it will get better, and that helps me shift into my power in my perspective. And so perspective I like to tell people it's like a set of lenses, right, It's like your set of lenses of how you see the world. We can't control the experiences most times, we can control the meaning we give to the experience. So I always say, like, life is not about what happens to you. It's about the meaning that you give it, right, It's about how you use it. If you're down at halftime, you're not gonna be like all this means that you know, we ain't coming back as an athlete. We know now this mean we're gonna have a comeback. That's what this means. We're gonna mean the Patriots with Atlanta. This means we have the greatest comeback in super Bowl history, you know. So that it's kind of the mindset that I've taken to everything in my life when something happens. Who uh, that's that's different right there. Man, that I read a quote a couple of days ago. I think it's Mark Twain. It's that the ancestor of an action is a thought, And like you just put such great wording to it, because somebody can't write a new story, write a comeback story without first a perspective of this is worth writing or I have the power to write it. Experience and healing and wisdom is going to come for me to write this story. And it's it's a choice in every single moment, but a lot of us we feel like there isn't one or we aren't present to the fact that there is one. We're not present to the fight that is there right in front of our face for us to take that perspective anytime that we want to. And it's just, man, it's crazy. And I keep going back to thinking about what your mom being at peace right? And it kind of goes back to thinking, I want to ask, is it like, was she was her treasure of her heart in the right place? Like the things that she valued her entire life and sought after allowed her to be at peace, Whereas most people at that point in life maybe fighting for if I could have one more moment, if I could have one more chance to if I could have a little bit more time with my dad or my brother. It's like, are people just not focused on the right things? Are people like are we eternally distracted in a way? What do you think that that speaks to? Yeah, I think you hear the nail on the head. I think we are distracted. I mean more than ever. Right. We live in a world for other distractions, and I like to tell people like, fulfillment is what matters. Right. You could have everything and not be fulfilled, and we know it, and you're not going to be at peace in your life. I've seen highly successful people. I've been there at the point in my life where I have all the success, right, I check all the boxes, but I'm not doing what I truly love, and there's a sense of like, man, I'm not fulfilled in life. And I've had the opposite where yeah, I'm not checking up all the boxes as far as in the world's eyes, but I'm checking up all the boxes that I care about in my life. Kind of what you talked about earlier, what you're doing music and the things that you care about the podcast. You're checking off those boxes, so you're having that sense of fulfillment, that sense of meaning, like I'm doing the things that mean something to me with my mother. And it's funny you mentioned that, man, because I'm currently writing my book Protect Your Peace, and I talk about that in the process. Like even the athletes, I say, you see the athlete that has peace in the big moment, like maybe the last second shot, it'd be Jordan or whatever it may be, are the big time catch, you know on fourth down they have It's just like they have pieces because they prepare for that, right, they position themselves for that over and over and over. They suffered in those practices for that. And so when I look at my mom's life, Yeah, she died in peace because she lived in priority. Right, she died in peace because she lived in priority. So like the things that matter to her, she did those things. She spent time with her kids, right, she instilled the things in her kids that she wanted to instill. She had the values, and like she lived a life by that. And I took that and one of the things that I tell people today and it kind of hits people in the heart, and I say, you know, the thing that I realized with my mother because when she died, like I was in my phone, like I was listening to like even like the jail Jay Electric so Jai Electronic Cosama Jason. You don't know if you heard it, but it's like literally to the teeth of what I was dealing with, Like I'm scrolling Texas all day long, like trying to find things my mom left me, and then it hit me, It's like, it's not about what she left for you, it's about what she left in you. And her car went back to the dealership, right, Her drury got dispersed through her family. Her clothes are still there, like all the things, all the possessions, like they didn't go with her, you know what I mean. And so I realized, like, wow, what did live on is everything she's putting us. And so this quote I created from this, Your life is not multiplied through your possessions, it's multiplied through your purpose. So if we want to multiply our life, we want to continue to live on, we want to continue to create change even when we're no longer here. It's all about purpose because our possessions die when we die, right. So that's really taught me a lot about that process of like what matters most, what's going to live on even when I move on, you know, and transition and so oh yeah, man, it's something that I'm trying to live by day by day. It sounds like everything you do and how you show up each day is ultimately to protect your peace. And I know that's the name of your next book. So maybe maybe we can bring this all full circle and you can just share a little bit about the book, why, why those words protect your peace matter so much to you, and when that book's going to be coming out. Yeah, so the book comes out January twenty twenty four. It's words that I've been living by man since two thousand, probably ten, two eleven, and protect your peace means different things for everybody, right, But the thing I like to explain is it's hard to experience peace in your life right when you're trying to control things that out of your control. Right, you'll never be at peace. So peace is being able to let go up controlling situations and just be good with just trusting the process, being good with trusting God's planing for your life, and say, you know what, everything is going to work out. Peace doesn't mean the storm doesn't exist. Right, It's not not eive to say, oh, the storm doesn't exist. No, the storm exists. But I have peace and knowing the storm show path that's where my peace comes in. So I can learn how to dance in the rain. I can have that gardener's mindset and celebrate the rain because I understand that the rain, just like in the real world with the gardener. It's growing the garden, and it's also growing things in my life. It's growing my faith, it's growing my perseverance, my endurance, it's growing my what me folks on what really matters. And so it's non principles in the book throwing in the chaotic world, and you know, it's broken down in three sections. So I break down protect your peace in these three sections. The first is protect your energy, right. I mean we do that by disconnecting often, we do that by setting boundaries. We do that by knowing our work. We give energy away so freely and as if we have an infinite amount. That's why we live in a world for the burnout. We live in a world for the stress because we're not taking care of our energy. The second part of the book is protect your mind. Right. That is kind of what we talk about. What's your perspective, what's your vision, right, the things that you want to do. Protecting that because the world, as we know, is going to tell you that you shouldn't be doing this, You shouldn't be doing that's impossible, So it's about really protecting that. And then the last part is protect your soul. And that's the deep work of you know, as I call it soul fulfillment. That's the deep work of creating simple happiness. And where I learned that from it's looking at my kids. I'm like, where did we get to where we made happiness so hard to obtain? Right? Like we got to have all these things checked off to be happy? And if you look at the people who are have the most, and there's a thing with like, you know you, happiness works off of what's happening, and I kind of I agree with that to an extent. But what kind of happens I'm talking about is that internal happiness that more like joy that doesn't depend on what's happening in your life. So you look at your kids and I call it morning Marley. So that's my baby girl. And I wrote this in the book because it was a morning and she does this all the time. She came in our room and said, it's morning, it's morning. She left up, but she was so happy it was morning, and it clicked like, then I want that type of joy where I just wake up and be happy that it's just morning time. And I just studied her and just watched her that whole day, and she's just happy for the flowers and the things that as we grow up as adults we overlooking, we take for granted. And so the whole book is just really bringing people back home to their soul and in such a chaotic world. I think nip Nipsey said it best right, and I don't know if it's hisquolt, but I know that, you know, I saw the video and he said, you know, would you rather be at peace with the world and at war with yourself or vice versa, to be at peace with yourself and at war with the world. And that's what protecting your peace is all about. The nutshell. It's being at peace with yourself. No matter what's going on, you know everything's gonna be okay and't work out. M man, Thank you Trent. You are a blueprint not to just respond to adversity one time or come back one time, but to make responding to adversity successfully a lifestyle. Man. So appreciate the way that you just use your words and how impactful you are just as yourself. And thank you for your time, man. I know it's it's valuable and we appreciate you spending it with Donnie and I, but with everybody listening as well. So thank you, bro, everybody that's listening, keep coming back, keep listening to us, because that's what we're gonna do, that's who we are. And check us out anywhere you get your podcasts and download and check us out Inflection Point on YouTube as well, and we'll see you guys again soon. Yeah. If you're not, if you're not one of the millions of followers already following Trent Shelton, check them out. I think it's at Trent Shelton on all platforms, right, yes, sir, at Trent Shelton. Man. I want to say I appreciate y'all for what y'all do and keep doing it. You guys, share this podcast, share Comeback Stories because this is very rare to have two guys like this really giving y'all nuggets and tools to really help your life. So thank you and salute to you guys for what y'all do. Comeback Stories is a production of Inflection Network and iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.